Friday, November 22, 2013

Secret no longer. The world now knows.

Who loves secrets? I know I do. At least when I am the one keeping them. I am not too fond of them when someone else has them.

Well my secret I told you about Wednesday is now known. It felt a lot safer when only I knew about it. Thursday morning I met with a group of guys to tell them about an event and program that I think is going to be pretty special.

March 20-22 I am going to have a men's retreat in Mena, Ark. I know you're thinking what in the world is in Mena? It seems like not a lot which is good because this is going to be a guy getaway. We will spend 3 days riding UTV's / ATV's. All in the mountains. I know, pretty awesome. Sorry ladies.

In March I came across a mentoring system for men. It is called Radical Mentoring. You can see their website here. In June I invited 10 guys to participate in a mentoring group. 5 brave souls accepted and in July we started what I consider to be one of the greatest spiritual opportunities for these guys and myself.

The system is simple, monthly meetings with a retreat at the beginning and the end of the mentoring season which usually last 8-12 months. Each month the group reads an assigned book which forms the basis of the next meeting. Each member gives a net out of the book. This details what the book taught them or spoke to them about their life. Not a book report. This is about a catalyst for change.

Other men are desperate for real relationship. We have just never seen that celebrated in our culture. We've been looking at the wrong culture is the problem.

Last week I had a guy that is 35 call me out of the blue and express his desire to find real friendship. Christian friendship that will help him be a better husband and dad. I am convinced guys want to be Godly men. We just have to be willing to throw them a bone.

This is not an accountability group. At the very first meeting the mentor gives his faith story, the good, the bad and all the ugly. In July when I gave my faith story it took about 30 minutes for me to tell my story. For the next 2 1/2 hours those guys asked every question you could think of about my story.

At the second meeting each member tells his faith story. This is the cornerstone of why this system is so amazing. Imagine, a group of 6-8 guys knowing the utmost, dirtiest, worst parts of each others lives and why they feel they ended up there. Most men never experience true relationship like that. That is it. Never again do you sit and discuss sins.

Once you go to that level with guys you realize a few things:

      1) I am not the only one who feels like I may drown
      2) So there are other guys who feel like they can't seem to get it right spiritually
      3) That guy I thought was "perfect" is as flawed as me?
      4) Worldly Life is so superficial

At that point the cat is out of the bag. I finally realized that some of the guys I thought had pristine faith stories were fighting just as hard as me. Though I would never wish this on them it was so empowering because for so long I thought it was just me. I thought I was the only guy in the room that being what God called me to be seemed difficult.

Through this process I made what should be one of the biggest turns for me spiritually. I cannot avoid sin. I must chase after God and by default sin will not be in my eyes. When my heart is turned toward God my heart cannot be turned toward sin.

Expose light to darkness and there will be a reaction. Fact.

So, to sum this little secret exposing post up let me say this. We only have 21 spots available for this little adventure, this time. For the guys interested in this there is an application process which involves two things:

1. Write the Obituary Announcement that you would like to see in the paper the day after your death…(of old age and by natural causes). Write it in the third person, like a reporter. Include the following:

 ·      Significant professional accomplishments – what would you like for the paper to say that you    accomplished in your professional life.
 ·      Community accomplishments
 ·      Church accomplishments
 ·      Family accomplishments
 ·      A quote from your wife
 ·      A quote from each of your children (present and/or future “dreamed” of children)
 ·      A quote from your best friend
 ·      Finish this paragraph and include it somewhere in your obit…“In (insert timeframe), he participated in a Radical Mentoring Group. It was a significant deal because...”

2. What are your expectations from the Radical Mentoring Group? – In another 250 words or less, tell me why you want to do this. What do you expect to happen as a result of being involved in this group? Why would you commit to doing all this reading, memorizing scripture, opening yourself up to a bunch of guys? What do you want to learn? How do you want to change? What's your REAL motivation?

The goal of the retreat will be to leave with 3 new mentor groups. 

I know, when I read this the first time I thought what in the world. We are now 5 months into this group and I realize more than ever that having to put into words what you want said at your funeral makes you really think about your life, not what you've done but how you have lived and loved. If you haven't done those things then your obituary is hard to stomach.

If you are interested or if you would like more information then email me at 


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