Please Update Your EMAIL Now

-Josh-

This is not our normal blog post. This post is an update of sorts that is long overdue for our blog audience. Most of you at this point read our blogs when you receive an email. This is hugely convenient and we have more than 700 subscribers at this point. 

However, if you want to continue getting these updates we need you to update your email. Go to www.alysfight.blogspot.com or click here.

This blog is assuming that most of you are reading this as an email so here are some things we need for you to know about and then do so that you can continue to see these updates.

1) We updated the layout of our blog to make it more user-friendly. You can see it here.

2) There are over 700 people that receive our blog updates through email. If you want this to continue we need you take a minute and update your email. Click here and you will be taken to the blog where you can update your email. 

3) We now have a facebook page for Aly's Fight. You can see it here. 

4) We now have a website for Aly's Fight also, you can see it here.

5) Aly and I both are back on Twitter. You can follow Aly at @alytaylorla and then mine is @joshtaylorla.

We thank you so much for all the kind words that we continue to receive from you guys. We understand that we are blessed even in the middle of our ongoing fight. 

Thank you,

Josh

Moments.

-Aly-


Our life is full of moments. Moments we treasure. Moments we despise. There are even moments we re-live. There are some days that a certain smell will hit me and it will take me back into a moment as if I were experiencing it right then and there. Common moments may be your wedding day, or hearing the news of a lost loved one, a baby being born, or maybe even just affirming words from someone. Well, needless to say, this last year and a half has been full of moments for me. Moments I'll never forget. Some moments I wish I could forget- others I wish I could bask in: Hearing I had breast cancer, our "send off blessing night" that our church had for us as we headed to MDA, waiting during my unnerving ultrasounds, hearing my fertility chances were low, seeing my husband struggle to function, my last chemo, the night before my mastectomy, Dr. Litton giving me my clear pathology, the list goes on and on. The ironic thing is that many of my "moments" haven't been these huge milestones listed above. It would be too complicated and too long to explain, but many of the moments I have experienced along this journey were moments ordained by God that maybe didn't look so huge to others on the outside.

John 15:16
"You didn't choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name."

I had another moment just a couple days ago. We were in Houston for my oncology check-up and my plastic surgery check-up. As I've described before, I feel such a connection with my plastic surgery team. At this point, they have done 4 major surgeries on me and I know I've had to have had over 30 appointments with them through my expansions and check-ups. I sent Dr. Villa a picture collage after my last surgery that was entitled "Thank you for putting me back together." It had several pictures of me and I showed my progression to where he has helped me get. I hadn't talked to him since I sent him this. I also sent my PA some flowers for V-day. These people are so special to me...

Well, when Dr. Villa came in my room on Tuesday, he loved on me and said he cried when he got my package. He of course asked me all of the doctor questions and then took tons of pictures of me- from every angle. There I am standing with my shirt off and he just says "You look beautiful." I know this may sound so simple, but to have a man, that isn't my husband say that is pretty indescribable. It isn't creepy or weird. It it like a dad looking at his daughter, with all her imperfections and being in awe. He is very "father-like" and super kind and compassionate...remind me some of my dad, so I I'm sure that plays into feeling so validated by him. After he took my pictures, I put my shirt on so he could see how I looked in a shirt. He just kept hugging me. I started to cry and once again told them thank you for all they have done for me. There we were all crying in that hospital room, like we have many times before. Then we all walk out of the room with red noses and wet faces as if I received bad news. But no, it's because we love each other and have an unspeakable bond that comes from vulnerability and trust. I don't think I can adequately express this moment. A moment that is forever ingrained in my mind and heart. The power of a moment...

I literally cried for over an hour after my appointment. Josh had left to go on a trip after my oncology appointment, which gave me some good alone time with God. As I was still in MDA, at Whole foods, at homegoods, driving in my car-- I was crying so hard and just soaking in the moment I had with Dr. Villa and Alisha--thanking God for putting these people it my life. It is still hard to put into words or explain...So I just cry.

 This is me waiting for my plastic appointment. We get some fancy robes:)

Another moment came on Monday when we met with Dr. Litton and she said that all of my symptoms don't concern her. This is what I was praying for. She was pleased with how I was doing and the next time I see her will be August 19th. She scheduled all of my scans on the 18th (these are the scans she wants to run before trying for baby) and then I will see her the following day. God answered my prayers by allowing us to schedule these scans and having her unconcerned with everything. She encouraged many things for my back pain, so we will look into those options as well. Another moment--hugging my hubby in the room after Litton leaves, as we do after each visit and thanking God for continuing to show his faithfulness in my body---

 Psalm 89:1
 "I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations."

After my perfect oncology check-up

During my plastic surgery appointment Tuesday, we talked about what else needed to be done to complete my reconstruction. There are still a few nips and tucks that are needed non-surgically and we discussed those. We also discussed the possibility of another surgery. Because one breast has been radiated and one has not, the radiated one does not drop like a normal breast does, so Dr. Villa suggested possibly doing a lift on my non-radiated side to make it a bit more symmetrical before we do the finishing touches. This possible surgery could also flatten some of my drain scars and take out some skin that bothers me under my armpits (where my lat flap muscle is pulled under). So we are praying about what to do, but I feel peace either way. Please pray for us on this.

So obviously a huge moment for us was when we received my clear pathology last year that the doctors  were doubtful would come to pass. That was on April 30, 2012. That was a HUGE moment. Praise God that my healing has been made evident for 1 whole year! I will never forget Dr. Litton saying that my pathology was perfect...seeing her giddy face...Josh breaking down... and her not really having much else to say. She explained that she normally could go over different things, but because it was clear, she didn't have much else to say. What an incredible day... an incredible moment. It has been one whole year!!! My first doctor, Dr. Morrow (the one who moved in the middle of my treatment to California) posted this comment on my blog after learning of my clear pathology:

"I talked to Dr. Litton today and cried on hearing the wonderful news! God is so good! I thank God with all of my heart for the wonderful results and for putting you and Josh in my life and blessing with me with the opportunity to be your doctor. With great love, PK Morrow" Another incredible moment...

So, my next appointments (not considering if I have another surgery) are scheduled for June 19th, which are check ups with my radiation doctor and surgical oncologist. I will have X-rays and ultrasounds done at these appointments so please already start praying for perfect results from these. Please continue praying for my back pain. I had a back MRI last week and it showed a bulging disk on my L5-S1, so I'm relieved to know what is causing the pain, but it is still tough. Also, now that we have a date for all my scans, be praying for August 18...clear in Jesus' name. I will update soon.

Enjoy the video below that we made right after I received my pathology results, 1 year ago, a week after my mastectomy surgery.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EBRQoE2l9I

I got to stop by Shreveport on my way home and was able to love on my sweet nephew, Liam

Encouraging you to treasure and notice the moments,


Aly

Mastectomy April 23,2012. One year ago today.

 So apparently Josh and I were posting on the blog at the same time today and didn't know it, so we just combined our two posts into one.

 -Josh-

As I sit here today thinking about what we were doing this time last year I am in some sort of awe at time passing.

I just went and read the first blog post from this day last year and it is surreal to mentally go back there. I described the room we went in and then Dr. Babiera coming in and talking to us after her part of the surgery. 

This morning I woke up next to my beautiful wife's alarm going off. She left for work and school and I did the same. Even being the ones that went through it doesn't make it any less crazy. 12 months ago how different life looked. It was easy to concentrate on what mattered because it was in front of my face. 

Today at Chick-fil-A where I ate lunch all is normal. I sat there thinking if this is what is going through my brain right now I wonder what is going through some of these other people's brains. 

We are beyond blessed to be where we are in this moment but to think what has happened in the last 12 months since the Mastectomy is a bit overwhelming. Including the mastectomy Aly has had 4 Major surgeries that have drastically influenced our life and her well being. 

Today Aly wore a blue and white-ish dress and looked amazing. Needless to say as she left the house this morning I could not stop thinking how blessed we are that instead of being in a hospital bed this evening she will will come home and we will be in our bed in West Monroe, LA. 

We have a front row seat to God working on our behalf in Aly's body. 

Just for reminders- this is Aly right after her mastectomy. We could not cool her down. They wouldn't give her water and she was not feeling good. No fun this day.

This is one of my favorite pictures. She was sleeping so hard the glasses just stayed almost where they were. For weeks she had to sleep sitting up. 

Very quickly the smiling Aly was back, drains and all.

Today I also know there is a man in Houston, TX that is in the exact same spot I was last year. His wife or daughter is in surgery and he is just waiting. I don't know if I believed life would go on. Today though at about 6:30am Aly woke up and began what most people would consider a normal day. Life has gone on. We don't look, act, think or feel the same but daily we are trusting that God will fulfill his promise to us.

I continue to realize I am incredibly blessed to have Aly as my wife. I would sign up 100 times over with full knowledge of what we have been through. Aly's dogged determination which shows up in a daily walk with Christ that continues to push me to get closer to Christ has been much of the push that has enabled this version of the Taylor's to be where we are today.

 -Aly-

I remember a particular beach trip when I was probably in about 7th grade and I thought my sister was gorgeous ( and I still do). I remember seeing her in her swimsuit and how she filled out the top perfectly. Me, on the other hand was as skinny as a rail and flat as a board. I remember praying, literally praying to God that I would have a chest like my sister. I remember my friend, Erin and I, getting training bras from Limited Too around this same time. I had NO business getting a training bra, but all my friends needed them and I wanted to feel older too. To me, it was a huge part of what made a woman beautiful, at that time.

It took me longer to develop than most girls my age. I always thought I was flat chested and saw myself as that. It was as if one day when I was in the 10th grade, I immediately had breasts! I didn't feel like the skinny, flat chested girl, but was starting to feel like a woman. I finally filled out bras, swimsuits, and shirts looked better on me. My body began to change and I definitely was not that 7th grade girl anymore. I remember my family asking me if I had taken Bloussant (remember those advertisements for breast enhancement?! ha ha) because it was as if I developed overnight. It definitely boosted my confidence- not only that I had breasts, but overall didn't feel like a little girl anymore. I knew even then that God saw me as a beautiful woman even before I "developed" but I definitely felt more beautiful with my new body.

So, fast forward to October 17th, 2011. I had been married for 5 years to Josh and we learn I have breast cancer. On October 18th, our doctor in town says that he would recommend a double mastectomy as quickly as possible. Those breasts that I had prayed for could be taken away. What I saw as beautiful when I was a little girl could be stripped away from me. I desired to me a wife that is talked about in Proverbs 5:18-20, and I felt that I could no longer be that.

Proverbs 5:18-20 

"May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love."

What transpired in the next several months was nothing short of God, my father, carrying me and reminding me how beautiful and precious I was. I remember sitting at MD Anderson and Josh and I talking about the possibility of having a mastectomy. Josh did not waver once about me having it done. I remember us both crying and him telling me, "I think I will be even more attracted to you. Every time we look at you, it will just be a reminder of what the devil tried to do and how God healed you." This was the beginning of me seeing beauty in a different light.

I spoke to the West Ridge Middle School FCS this past week, and I spoke a little on beauty and how God has shown me what true beauty is. It is not what I saw in my sister when I was in 7th grade, although she was and is beautiful. It is a pure and clean heart, with a gentle and quiet spirit. Sadly, it wasn't until I was forced to not have hair and the breasts that might "define" my womanhood ripped away that I learned what true beauty was.

 "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:3-4

I have so many scars on my body. My 15 drain scars, my big lat flap scars on my back , my port scar, and many scars on my chest. I am reminded every day when I look in the mirror of where my true beauty comes from. I see where God sewed me back together and used what Satan tried to harm me with and turned it for His and my good. Not many people can look in the mirror every morning and tangibly see how God has saved them from death. For that, I am grateful. I am grateful that my heavenly Father finds me beautiful. I am grateful that my husband finds me beautiful. I am grateful that I can look at my scarred, broken, and imperfect self and know I am more beautiful than I ever was.

1 Sam 16:7 "But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Today, I remember how God supernaturally protected me from fear before and during my mastectomy surgery. I remember Josh and I not sleeping the night before. I was nervous, but not scared. I remember the plethora of texts, emails, blog comments, pictures I received the day of my surgery. I remember my family members and amazing friends that came to Houston for my surgery. I remember waking up feeling on fire and Josh putting ice rags all over me. I remember my mouth being so dry and Ainsley putting chap stick on me. I remember seeing a group of my friends and family once I was moved to my own room. I was so nauseous and wanted to thank everyone for coming, but just felt horrible. Needing help to do anything--drinking water, walking to the bathroom, getting my toilet paper, emptying my drains... It is a humbling experience to not be able to do anything for yourself.

I then remember coming home the next day--WOW God!!! I remember feeling a little better slowly. I remember really weird things, like my tank tops kept falling off my shoulders, because nothing was there to hold them up- weird stuff like that that I didn't even expect to happen. But most of all, I remember being thankful to have had no complications, and I knew we would soon get amazing results from the tissue taken from my surgery. I so longed for the day to deemed "cancer-free."

So, I will always remember April 23, 2012, as it was a day that I was face to face with what defines beauty. One year later, I am thankful for this terrible surgery. I am healed and it took this surgery for doctors and everyone else to have evidence of it...Another milestone reached, another day remembered, another challenge to take on. I am altogether beautiful.

"You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4:7

Some pictures from my mastectomy surgery, 1 year ago, below...

About to have my mastectomy surgery

Getting set up for the mastectomy

When I was finally brought back to my room. So nauseous...

This was the first time I looked in the mirror. My straps kept falling down. 

I also had to wear the tights on my legs to prevent clotting.

 

It's still April?!?

 --Aly--

Gosh. It is just the middle of April, and I feel like April should be coming to a close. In a way that is good, because things have been a little calmer for the Taylor's, but in a way, I am ready for April to speed by, as each month is a huge milestone for me.Still learning to live each day without rushing them by.

Here are some pictures from our Spring Break trip to the beach.

We had such a relaxing time. I am so thankful for my husband in many ways, but one of the ways is that he is my best friend- TRULY! We have so much fun together- whether it's doing activities, or just doing nothing, we just enjoy each others company. I am so grateful for that. We had a wonderful time at the beach besides....shingles. Yes, that's right, I was diagnosed with SHINGLES! Crazy huh?! While we were at the beach, I had lots of shooting pain, numbness, itching, burning, skin sensitivity on my back and side, then a rash on my back. We went to a doctor while at the beach, and we finally discovered it was shingles. This explains my massive headaches and a lot of the weird sensations I was having. I was of course relieved to know it was shingles, but just so mad and aggravated at the devil for using such crazy things to try and DE-rail me. Won't work. Won't ever work. Definitely put a damper on our trip though.

So, I'm getting over that and feeling much better, but still dealing with low back pain. Still struggling with this a lot, but God has given me much more peace about it. I have been exercising on a stationary bike and I tried swimming this weekend. It was like a child having to re-learn to swim, with my back muscles and chest muscles feeling so different. I'm sure it was funny to watch. Josh instructing me how to swim...my breathing like I had just swam miles...and the pool being 58 degrees. Funny to say the least. But we are learning and trying new things, so that I can still exercise with my back issues.

I learned that I passed my PhD comprehensive exams, which is huge for me, and am now continuing to work on my dissertation proposal. We will head to Houston in 2 weeks for my 3 month oncology check-up (April 29 and 30), followed by a reconstructive check up. Please be praying now that Dr. Litton remains unconcerned with me and my symptoms. We are looking forward to this Houston trip, as we will be able to go to our favorite Houston stops and see our Houston family, the Stanfills.

I am reminded of how small my problems are when the tragedy hit Boston yesterday. My heart has been broken for this city and those affected. Please join me in continued prayers of so many people who are hurting. I know what it is like to suffer, in a much different way, of course. But because I have felt devastation, I feel a connection with those that are devastated- no matter what kind of devastation they are facing. We need you Jesus.

 Please, please continue to pray for me. We will update after my appointments if not before. I have more peace about my back pain, but it is still hard to live in pain. I have been so blessed to not have had to live with a constant pain ever before. One of my amazing friends, Christi, sent me this scripture this morning:

"Consider it great joy, my brothers whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its COMPLETE WORK, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing" James 1:2-4

She text me this scripture and said that maybe the struggles and pains that I am still experiencing are a part of endurance doing its COMPLETE work. I want to be complete, lacking nothing, and this could just be another test of faith. I will continue to stand on my confession of faith of my healing, with pain or without. Striving to be patient, but of course wanting relief! I know the relief is coming. I've experienced bits of it and am trusting my back will feel much better soon. Thank you for continuing to join me in prayer.

My friends are incredible. I still get texts, emails, and phone calls from friends that lift me up and still understand I am struggling each day. One of my dear friends, Alicia, told me that she thought of me as she watched the Bible series on the history channel. On one of the episodes, it is the lady that touches Jesus' clothes and she is healed. (I missed this episode) Alicia said that Jesus grabbed her face and said "You are healed." She told me, "Aly, Jesus has held your face, looked into it and said, "You are healed."" There is no need to worry. This really challenged me, because if God tangibly grabbed my face and spoke those words to me, I wouldn't question...and that IS what he did. Oh the grace He has for me! So forgiving, so faithful, so true...

Thank you to all who continue to remind me of God's healing. In him I hope, trust, believe, and live.

ALL MY HOPE IS IN YOU GOD!

Here are some pictures from relay for life that was this weekend. This is my 2nd year to attend this event. Last year, we went a week after my mastectomy and I had all 5 drains hidden under my baggy t-shirt. This year, no one is staring at me, I have hair, and a small t-shirt with no drains. Praise God! I don't know if I will ever be able to comprehend all that Jesus has delivered me from, but I will try!

Expectant for great doctor's reports,

Aly

Pressing on...

-Aly-

So much has happened in the last few weeks. First off, the "Fight Like a Mom" event was amazing! Pathway Church in Mobile is an incredible church, and the ladies there were awesome. The event was great (Rhonda and her team are awesome, seriously!). We had great praise and worship, heard amazing (when I say amazing, I mean AMAZING) testimonies, we spoke, ladies prayed for others at the altar and left encouraged and uplifted. God definitely calmed our nerves about speaking. When we first tried to come up with what we wanted to share...it was well over 2 hours. We squeezed that down to about 45 minutes and took out HUGE parts. But we prayed that God would give us the words HE wanted us to share, and we feel He did that. The hardest part was the preparation as we had to re-live our toughest moments while sharing our story...God was glorified and we believe we obeyed him by sharing.

The women there encouraged me as much as I've ever been encouraged. One woman (who God miraculously enabled her to get pregnant) came up to me and said ,"God and I are carrying your burden for pregnancy. You don't have to carry it. I will be praying for you until we see that miracle baby." WOW..tears flowing.... These were the kinds of things that the women were saying to me. They were expectant for God to continue showing His healing in my life and speaking that to me. Just what I needed to hear. It really is true that when you bless others, you will end up blessed.

There were so many pictures and videos taken that night. Some of my awesome friends and family came to support us- Josh's parents, my mom and Mr. Joey, some of my extended family members, Margot, Ainsley, and my friends, Alicia and Erin surprised me!!! It was definitely comforting to know there were those in the audience who were not only supporting me, but who lived out this past year and a half alongside us.

I will post more pics as we get them, but here are a few from the "Fight Like a Mom" Event.

We have of course experienced attacks from the devil, which has been terrible. We believe this has much to do with our sharing our story on March 17th. Much back pain and head pain. You all know now that my brain MRI came back clear- praise God! I KNOW it was an attack from the devil, which just makes me so mad at him. It was a pain I have never felt before in my head...just to scare me and have me doubt. I continue to know I am healed,  and he just keeps trying to scare me. It is so frustrating to have emotions waver so much. I have to continue trusting the TRUTH and not my emotions. I am learning the the devil loves to attack me physically (with pains) and then my emotions. I am learning that often times sin starts with emotions; therefore, I can't trust my emotions- they can often lead to sin. The ONLY thing I am sure of is God and His word, so that is what I will hold to.

In the last few weeks, I have finished my PhD comps!!! I have yet to receive my grade, but I am so thankful they are over. I am still working on completing my dissertation proposal draft, but it is getting exciting that my PhD course work is almost done.

I am on my Spring Break and we are at the beach!!! Just Josh and I have come to the beach and I don't think I have ever needed a "get-away" more. I know there are people in the world that are struggling with things much more serious than we are, but to have a few days to rest and relax outside of our normal world has been such a blessing for the Taylors. We have a few more days here--rainy today, but rain or shine-we are thankful for time away. We are so thankful for the generosity of those who make this possible.

Last year for my Spring Break, we came to the beach and we have been reflecting on how much has changed since last year. I remember being so self-conscious with my bald head, no fingernails/toenails, and my port...this year, no one would even know I used to be sick...so overwhelming and we have much to be thankful for. We have been using this time to rest and to come up with goals for ourselves- with God, in life, in our relationships, etc...We are more determined than ever to be purposeful with how we live the life God has blessed us with.

I am still struggling with back pain. It is definitely getting better...Praise the Lord, but I have definitely been sympathetic toward those who struggle with back pain. It literally affects everything. I think it all started when I overdid it with my workouts. I have stopped exercising with my personal trainer and have been taking a "break." I have mostly been walking, riding the stationary bike, and stretching. For anyone who knows me, this has been SO hard. I love to be active and it has been a struggle to not be able to run and exercise like I want to. I know God is teaching me something through all of this. I am trusting and praying I can get back to being more active...just trying not to push it too much.

Thank you all for praying for me. Josh has been amazing these past few weeks. Praying for me when I've needed it (which has been A LOT), praying for me in the middle of the night, anointing me with oil, and continuing to remind me I am healed. I am so blessed. Our friends and family continue to stand in the gap for us.

While at the "Fight Like a Mom" event, we met another girl (Chastity) who will win her fight with breast cancer. I knew it was time to get rid of my wigs (I have two), so I sent her one of them, along with a breast cancer pin another survivor gave me during treatment. I was to pass it on to another survivor. So thankful to be able to pass these off, but it was definitely hard for me to do- a sign of me releasing my faith and pressing on to what's ahead. 

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead" Phil. 3:13

Here are some pics of me with my wig and the pin I passed on to Chastity.

This was a picture I took during chemo last year. I was so nervous to wear this wig in public. Now it's passed on to another survivor:)

Here is the wig and pin right before I boxed it up to send to Chastity. Won't ever need this again, in Jesus' name.

Beach pictures and "Fight Like a Mom' pictures to come. Please continue praying for my "pains" to go away, and for me to continue putting my trust and faith in God and His word.

Trusting,


Aly

1 year ago...and today

The last few weeks have been rough as you can tell from Josh's posts. His faith has carried me these last few weeks.  I plan on posting later this week to fill you in on how God has sustained us through these rough weeks. But just to let you know, my pains led to a brain MRI which was CLEAR! Thank you Jesus. Still struggling with back and head pain, but so thankful for the clear results. I will update you on more in a few days but today I want to remember 1 year ago- March 30, 2012.

1 year ago, I was receiving my last chemotherapy treatment

1 year ago, I was SO weak- His strength was made perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9)

1 year ago, I was scared- trusting in my healing, but it not being evident just yet

1 year ago, I still had "my" body...realizing my body was soon to be "deformed"... learning that my beauty comes from Christ (1 Peter 3:3)

1 year ago, I was celebrating in tears and thankfulness 

This verse has been life to me lately, as I've been depending on it. 

"Those who plant in tears

  will harvest with shouts of joy.

⁶ 

They weep as they go to plant their seed,

    but they sing as they return with the harvest." Psalm 126:5-6

TODAY, I have had a "normal", relaxing Saturday

TODAY, I am SO weak- His strength is made perfect

TODAY, I am scared- trusting in my healing- IT HAS BEEN MADE EVIDENT!!!

TODAY, my body is "deformed", but I KNOW my beauty comes from Christ

TODAY, I celebrate in tears and thankfulness (Psalm 126:5-6)


Whether my cup is full or when my cup is dry, I realize how desperate I am for God. March 30th is a day to celebrate. How God has filled my cup in countless ways!!!

What perfect timing for Resurrection Sunday?!? As I celebrate Christ's resurrection, I realize what that meant for me...forgiveness, victory, God's sovereignty, fulfillment of prophesies/promises, evidence that Jesus is the son of God, and the list goes on and on. As I celebrate Jesus' life raised from the dead, I celebrate him raising my life up from the dead.

OH PRAISE THE ONE WHO PAID MY DEBT AND 

RAISED THIS LIFE UP FROM THE DEAD!!!

I've re-posted the video that Josh made me for my last chemotherapy treatment, 1 year ago. In awe of my amazingly good God.

Have a wonderful Easter celebrating our risen Lord and Savior,


Aly

Publicly Re-Committing to this War. A God war.

These last few days we have been at war with nothing other than a tangible attack of hell/satan/demons (pick one). Aly has been having some physical symptoms that are putting her at a point of fear that is as strong as we have dealt with in the past 17 months.

If I'm not careful this post could literally be the longest post I've made so I will get to the point. 

When this journey started it was as if you dropped me in a room of bad guys and I just started swinging. I didn't know what for sure I was aiming at or what I planned to do to it but I was just attempting to fight. As I re-read some of our first post I can feel what those days were like. Below are parts of posts that we made the first week of Aly's diagnosis.

October 26th, 2011 

Aly- "Lord have mercy on me. See how my enemies torment me. Snatch me back from the jaws of death. Save me so I can praise you publicly at Jerusalem's gates, so I can rejoice that you have rescued me." Psalm 9:13-14

October 27th, 2011
Josh- The God that put us here will deliver us. 

October 28th, 2011

Josh- Cancer: today my wife begins physical war with you, this is not a lady you want any part of-fierce, determined, steadfast, persevering. I look forward to watching her beat you. 

At this point though the enemy is crystal clear in my mind. I know him well. We have had many conversations which changes the score completely. satan/hell/demons, you have come against my wife. We knew that when we began affecting other peoples lives with GODS story of HEALING my wife that you would come full force at us. you are talented. HOWEVER...

 Jesus said in Luke 10:18-19

¹⁸ “Yes,” he told them, “I saw Satan fall from heaven like lightning! ¹⁹ Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you.

Deuteronomy 31:8
⁸ Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

⁸ Isaiah 58: 8-9a
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
    and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness^[a] will go before you,
    and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
    you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Here is an excerpt from a blog Aly had started before she was diagnosed. This was written on September 1, 2011 (48 days before diagnosis).

In the book of Job, Satan comes before the Lord and God points out his faithful servant, Job. It is then when Satan suggests that Job will abandon his faith that the Lord challenges that and sets out to prove him wrong. There is such a huge significance of Satan appearing before the Lord. This shows us that he (yes, even Satan) is under the divine control of God. He cannot act on his own, but must receive permission from God- wow! As scary as it might be to think that Satan is constantly trying to throw us off, it is also comforting knowing that he is not independent of God's control. In just this first bit of Job, we see that Satan causes bad things to happen to us, but it is God who allows it to happen. The Lord helps us in the midst of our struggle that He allows, in order to deliver us and conquer our enemies- once again proving his sovereignty over the world and the devil!

God was prepping Aly for the attack.

In closing,

satan/hell/demons  you have no place in our life. As my wife sleeps right now I rebuke you from touching her in any way. Fear, pain which seem to be your items of choice for now, be gone from my wife in the name of JESUS. There is no place for you here. I commit only through Gods help to cover her. Aly WILL be like a FRUITFUL GRAPEVINE planted within MY home. That's the B-I-B-L-E (spell it out, it sounds better). 

As a great man once said when asked by an adversary, "how big a boy are you?" well I'm about 5'5" (depends on the shoes) and 141 lbs dripping wet, I'm small but I'm wiry. 

I understand I can't stand up to hell/satan/demons alone. I just so happen to have help and my intent is to speak that into life. Jesus, I understand we cannot fight the power of darkness alone with physical threats (though it is fun) so I am asking you to rebuke the attack on my wife. You have control over satan/ hell/ demons and I believe you have, you are and you will remove them from our life. As you said in Deut 31:8 that you will neither fail or abandon us. We are resting on your promises.

hell/satan/demons
God is working in our lives to refine us for HIS purposes. Just today I had my schedule cleared up even more. hell/satan/ demons- WE (GOD and me) have re-declared incase you forgot that we do understand what is at stake and due to that we will DESPERATELY be on the attack against you. 

Pay attention here, this is big. All the previous comments by me are about the attack I plan against evil. Those are worldly responses by a wounded, hurt man. I am leaving them there as visible proof that God is clearing my mind of me and what I want to do for my wife. Once again, get out of the way Josh. This is not a weight you are to carry. Give it over. THE attack will not be at satan/hell/demons from me but a move from me toward further full devotion to God. I will rest under Gods mighty hand. God, who controls hell/satan/demons is waging war toward them on our behalf. I am asking God to act in a mighty way in the coming hours as Aly sleeps. Please wage war on evil that would attack her, give Aly rest. I rebuke you hell/satan/demon in the name of JESUS. there is no place in our life, house, bed or in my wife's body.

Thank you for sending your son to die for our sins that we may have eternal life. We accept your promises, we will live in them. Just as you chose Job for satan to test because you knew what would come of that, Aly is the same. God please continue to mold us for YOUR plan. 

We don't have it figured out but we are desperate for you GOD.