Thank you all so much for praying for my X-ray..it was clear!!! Praise the Lord! I was relieved to know it was clear, but honestly, I was really hoping it would show a broken rib, or some inflammation from surgery to explain what I am feeling. So, I am relieved it was clear, but still unsure of what is going on. So, please continue to pray for that.
I got expanded again last week and Josh took my last drain out Monday night... I feel free. It seems like forever since I haven't had a drain. I can take a shower, lay in bed, and wear clothes without worrying about a plastic tube half way in my body and half way out.
The funniest/wierdest thing happened the other night. I woke up in the middle of the night and I put my head on my pillow and felt something hard underneath my head. It was the bulb on my drain. I laughed that it got all the way up there. So, I went to move it and the tubing on the drain was wrapped three times around my head/neck! I don't know if I did that, or if Josh did, but of course now I joke with Josh about trying to kill me in my sleep! So, the "dangerous" drain is now out of this body of mine! Thank you Jesus. It still was not draining the required amount, but since it had been 6 weeks since surgery, it had to come out- that is the longest it is supposed to stay in. Praise God it is out, and please pray I do not have any fluid build up, as it was still draining when I had to take it out. So far, so good.
I know I told you guys that I had been having some scary "symptoms." One of those has been some lower back pain. It started up about 2 weeks ago and I haven't gotten much relief. After much discussion with my nurse, and her talking with my doctor, they recommended a bone scan. My doctor also wanted to see me in person because of these "symptoms." So, we will head to Houston tomorrow morning and have a bone scan at 3:30. I have to get an injection at 1:30 and let it sit, then have the scan, so that what needs to show up in the scan shows up like it is supposed to. I will meet with Dr. Litton at 12:20 on Friday to go over the results and discuss any other concerns with her.
My emotions have been an absolute roller coaster for the past week, but in the last couple of days, I have gained some more peace. Just knowing that the results from one test could change everything, is extremely scary. I have kept telling God that I could handle anything except cancer again. Through this week and some conversations that I have had, I will not be scared of cancer. And I could handle cancer again- do I want to? no. do I believe I am going to? no. But I will not be scared of it. God is bigger and stronger than cancer and He is on my side.
I have been getting so many encouraging and positive words from people, and that has been wonderful, but some lately have told me some things that didn't settle with me quite well at first, but as I began to think on them, I realized that they were words of wisdom. I was talking with one of my best friends, crying and telling her my concerns, and she said "Aly, you can't be scared of cancer. God is bigger than cancer." I know that may sound like a simple statement, but it hit me that I have been so scared of cancer, and Satan has probably been loving that. Would I be devastated if I had cancer again? Of course, but I won't let the fear consume me- much easier said than done:)
Another person also said to me, "If it comes back, you will fight and the Lord will win again." Of course, in the moment, I am thinking ,"Don't even speak that!!!" But I have come to grips with that. I don't believe it will come on me a second time, but if it does, God will walk me through. I think that accepting that has taken some of Satan's fuel away to scare me.
So, that was the long way of saying that I feel more at peace now. The relief that will rush over my body when I hear her say that the scan is clear-can't even describe!!! I am thanking the Lord now for good results. I also want answers as to what these aches/pains are, so please pray for that too.
I identify so much with David in reading the Psalms and I could write psalm after psalm from David crying out to God. Asking God to save him-to keep him safe-to pull him out of trouble--when armies and enemies are standing at every side. Here is just one of the many that I pray today:
Psalm 3---"O Lord, I have so many enemies;so many are against me. So many are saying,“God will never rescue him!” But you, O Lord, are a shield around me;you are my glory, the one who holds my head high. I cried out to the Lord, and he answered me from his holy mountain. I lay down and slept, yet I woke up in safety,for the Lord was watching over me. I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side.Arise, O Lord! Rescue me, my God. Slap all my enemies in the face!Shatter the teeth of the wicked! Victory comes from you, O Lord.May you bless your people."
I continue to stand on God's word that I am healed, so don't think for a second I have backed down from that. Just wanted to be vulnerable to let you know where I'm at. Please be on your face today and tomorrow for me- praying for a clear, cancer-free scan!!!
Here are some pictures below from the Race for the Cure this weekend. I couldn't get pics with everyone. Thank you to all who came and supported me. I have such great friends and family. I love you all!
Some sweet friends, Bryan and Kristen
My sweet friend from high school, Melanie
My wonderful family!