I continue to have funny moments, where I just have to laugh to myself in this cancer/healing process. All of about 2 of my eyelashes have fallen out and it is kind of crazy to not have eyelashes...soooo, this weekend I bought some fake eyelashes. They felt weird, but looked much better than not having eyelashes, so I went with it and wore them to church yesterday. I talked to many people after church and got into our car and looked in the mirror- my eye lash was completely detached and floating!! If you ever saw the original Yours, Mine and Ours with Lucille Ball--- I was her in the scene with her eyelashes that keep coming off!! It was hideous! but, I just laughed and told Josh. To all of you I talked to with the floating eyelash-- I know you love me so much and don't want to embarrass me, but it was BAD!:)
I also keep forgetting that I am bald. I walk outside or people knock on the door and I just open it or say "hi" without realizing what I look like. It takes just a second to see their looks on their faces for me to realize I forgot to put a hat on or to put Racquel on. Have you ever heard of people who lose a limb and they feel like they can still feel it? That is what it is like to not have your hair. I walk outside to let Bella out and when the wind blows, I take my hand to put my hair behind my ear...craziness! Anyways...just funny things that happen to a girl with no hair:)
These last 3 weeks have been pretty good, outside of a terrible cold. It came on right after my last chemo and I guess the combination of chemo and the cold was the perfect horrible combination. I was pretty miserable for about 5 days, but thank the Lord that I am feeling much better. My doctor called a prescription in for me and I was so thankful to finally start feeling like myself again. I think my nails are getting better. They looked pretty nasty and continue to be pretty black and yellowish, but I think they are getting better. They are still sore, but I am hoping I am on the upside with these stinking nails!!
I am so happy, ecstatic, overjoyed...every positive adjective that exists..that it is March!! March is the month that I have my last chemo treatment! March 30th!!! ahhh!! In October, when Dr. Morrow said I would have 6 months of chemo, that sounded like an eternity, and it is almost here! I have prayed that God would make the time go by fast, but not too fast where I couldn't enjoy each day, and that is exactly what He has done. Ms. Vanessia West, who is cancer-free and finished treatment a few months ago, keeps reminding me that I will look back on all of this soon enough and it will seem like it happened so long ago. I know that is true and I'm so thankful for those that went before me. I am just beyond ready for this to all be done.
So, I have my 3rd treatment of FAC this Friday and I will also meet my new doctor, Dr. Litton. I am really looking forward to that. Dr. Morrow called me a couple of weeks ago and we both just cried and cried on the phone. She called to specifically check up on me and to tell me bye and that she would miss me as she is moving to California. It was a mutual love fest over the phone:) We both continually told each other we loved each other and how much we would miss the other. I will never, ever forget her...this new doctor has A LOT to live up to!
A new thing I have learned is that I will no longer get an ultrasound at each appointment. I am not really sure why, but I will find that out at my doctor's appointment on Friday. My next ultrasound is right before my surgery in April. I know that the medicine is working though, so no need for reassurance! But just wanted to update you all on that. Please continue praying that all cancer will be gone before surgery.
Through this experience thus far, God has taught me so much. He has revealed much in me that needed to change and He is refining me. I am thankful for His correction and refinement.
One thing that He has particularly helped me with is looking forward to Christ's coming. This is something I truthfully have never really looked forward to and I have been somewhat scared of. I have typically thought, "I don't want the Lord to come back now because I don't have kids yet, or I haven't grown old, etc..", but the truth is I had never really meditated on the Lord's coming. The Lord commands us to look forward to His coming, and I was not previously doing this. 2 Peter 3:12 says "Look forward to the day of God and hurry it along." In verse 14 it says "And so, dear friends, while you are waiting for these things to happen, make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in his sight."
I now look forward to the Lord's coming and often pray, "Come quickly, Lord Jesus." He has taught me to not be scared of His coming, but to hurry it along. I am finally in a place where I cannot wait for the Lord to come back and spend eternity with Him. Cancer is just a reminder of the cruelty of the devil and how evil the world really is. We cannot fathom how wonderful heaven will be and God is revealing that to me day by day.- no more pain, no more fear, no more worries---even though I am striving to live a life free of these things while on earth, they will be non-existent in heaven. I know I will live on this earth until I am old, or the Lord will come back before then. Either way, I am not scared anymore...just another thing the Lord is teaching me. I am now obeying a command I was not previously obeying. I am thankful for the Lord's correction. He tells us He corrects those he loves- that's me:)! I could literally go on and on of all the things he has taught me through this and is teaching me.
The Lord is drawing near to me as I draw near to Him. I am learning to seek Him wholeheartedly by not only looking into his word, but by teaching and the guidance of those around me. Thank you to all who have shared with me thoughts, prayers, scriptures, ways to pray and claim scripture, and have faith that others would call foolish. You have no idea what it has done for me and how it has helped me. If you feel like you need to tell me something, please do it. Your words and encouragement literally carry me. Text me or call me or just tell me! It means more than you can know.
Here are other scriptures that I continue to claim and pray...please, please join me. I put my name in these verses.
"Because Aly cleaves to me in love, I will deliver her; I will protect her because she knows my name. Whenever she calls to me I will answer her: I will be with her in trouble; I will rescue her and honor her with LONG life. I will satisfy her and show her my salvation." Psalm 91:14-16
God's word does not come back void. As I pray these scriptures, I know God is making sure to do what He says.
"Then said the Lord to Aly, "You have seen well, for I am alert and active watching over my word to perform it." Jeremiah 1:12
This journey is not about me at all. It is all about Christ..please when you're telling someone my story, make it about Christ and not me. In fact, that is why He has me going through this...to glorify Him and that many would be saved from death. Please play a part in His plan....
Thank you for continuing to fight with me... I draw much comfort from my huge army!!! Stick with me till the end. It's a long road ahead, but the end is in sight! Pray for me this Friday as the chemo aids in killing every last bit of cancer. My mom will be driving me down and we will head back Friday as soon as chemo is done so I can be home asap.
LOVE my army:)