Monday, March 5, 2012

Confessions of the bald girl with floating eyelashes!

I continue to have funny moments, where I just have to laugh to myself in this cancer/healing process. All of about 2 of my eyelashes have fallen out and it is kind of crazy to not have eyelashes...soooo, this weekend I bought some fake eyelashes. They felt weird, but looked much better than not having eyelashes, so I went with it and wore them to church yesterday. I talked to many people after church and got into our car and looked in the mirror- my eye lash was completely detached and floating!! If you ever saw the original Yours, Mine and Ours with Lucille Ball--- I was her in the scene with her eyelashes that keep coming off!! It was hideous! but, I just laughed and told Josh. To all of you I talked to with the floating eyelash-- I know you love me so much and don't want to embarrass me, but it was BAD!:)

I also keep forgetting that I am bald. I walk outside or people knock on the door and I just open it or say "hi" without realizing what I look like. It takes just a second to see their looks on their faces for me to realize I forgot to put a hat on or to put Racquel on. Have you ever heard of people who lose a limb and they feel like they can still feel it? That is what it is like to not have your hair. I walk outside to let Bella out and when the wind blows, I take my hand to put my hair behind my ear...craziness! Anyways...just funny things that happen to a girl with no hair:)

These last 3 weeks have been pretty good, outside of a terrible cold. It came on right after my last chemo and I guess the combination of chemo and the cold was the perfect horrible combination. I was pretty miserable for about 5 days, but thank the Lord that I am feeling much better. My doctor called a prescription in for me and I was so thankful to finally start feeling like myself again. I think my nails are getting better. They looked pretty nasty and continue to be pretty black and yellowish, but I think they are getting better. They are still sore, but I am hoping I am on the upside with these stinking nails!!

I am so happy, ecstatic, overjoyed...every positive adjective that exists..that it is March!! March is the month that I have my last chemo treatment! March 30th!!! ahhh!! In October, when Dr. Morrow said I would have 6 months of chemo, that sounded like an eternity, and it is almost here! I have prayed that God would make the time go by fast, but not too fast where I couldn't enjoy each day, and that is exactly what He has done. Ms. Vanessia West, who is cancer-free and finished treatment a few months ago, keeps reminding me that I will look back on all of this soon enough and it will seem like it happened so long ago. I know that is true and I'm so thankful for those that went before me. I am just beyond ready for this to all be done.

So, I have my 3rd treatment of FAC this Friday and I will also meet my new doctor, Dr. Litton. I am really looking forward to that. Dr. Morrow called me a couple of weeks ago and we both just cried and cried on the phone. She called to specifically check up on me and to tell me bye and that she would miss me as she is moving to California. It was a mutual love fest over the phone:) We both continually told each other we loved each other and how much we would miss the other. I will never, ever forget her...this new doctor has A LOT to live up to!

A new thing I have learned is that I will no longer get an ultrasound at each appointment. I am not really sure why, but I will find that out at my doctor's appointment on Friday. My next ultrasound is right before my surgery in April. I know that the medicine is working though, so no need for reassurance! But just wanted to update you all on that. Please continue praying that all cancer will be gone before surgery.

Through this experience thus far, God has taught me so much. He has revealed much in me that needed to change and He is refining me. I am thankful for His correction and refinement.

One thing that He has particularly helped me with is looking forward to Christ's coming. This is something I truthfully have never really looked forward to and I have been somewhat scared of. I have typically thought, "I don't want the Lord to come back now because I don't have kids yet, or I haven't grown old, etc..", but the truth is I had never really meditated on the Lord's coming. The Lord commands us to look forward to His coming, and I was not previously doing this. 2 Peter 3:12 says "Look forward to the day of God and hurry it along." In verse 14 it says "And so, dear friends, while you are waiting for these things to happen, make every effort to be found living peaceful lives that are pure and blameless in his sight."

I now look forward to the Lord's coming and often pray, "Come quickly, Lord Jesus." He has taught me to not be scared of His coming, but to hurry it along. I am finally in a place where I cannot wait for the Lord to come back and spend eternity with Him. Cancer is just a reminder of the cruelty of the devil and how evil the world really is. We cannot fathom how wonderful heaven will be and God is revealing that to me day by day.- no more pain, no more fear, no more worries---even though I am striving to live a life free of these things while on earth, they will be non-existent in heaven. I know I will live on this earth until I am old, or the Lord will come back before then. Either way, I am not scared anymore...just another thing the Lord is teaching me. I am now obeying a command I was not previously obeying. I am thankful for the Lord's correction. He tells us He corrects those he loves- that's me:)! I could literally go on and on of all the things he has taught me through this and is teaching me.

The Lord is drawing near to me as I draw near to Him. I am learning to seek Him wholeheartedly by not only looking into his word, but by teaching and the guidance of those around me. Thank you to all who have shared with me thoughts, prayers, scriptures, ways to pray and claim scripture, and have faith that others would call foolish. You have no idea what it has done for me and how it has helped me. If you feel like you need to tell me something, please do it. Your words and encouragement literally carry me. Text me or call me or just tell me! It means more than you can know.

Here are other scriptures that I continue to claim and pray...please, please join me. I put my name in these verses.

"Because Aly cleaves to me in love, I will deliver her; I will protect her because she knows my name. Whenever she calls to me I will answer her: I will be with her in trouble; I will rescue her and honor her with LONG life. I will satisfy her and show her my salvation." Psalm 91:14-16

God's word does not come back void. As I pray these scriptures, I know God is making sure to do what He says.

"Then said the Lord to Aly, "You have seen well, for I am alert and active watching over my word to perform it." Jeremiah 1:12

This journey is not about me at all. It is all about Christ..please when you're telling someone my story, make it about Christ and not me. In fact, that is why He has me going through glorify Him and that many would be saved from death. Please play a part in His plan....

Thank you for continuing to fight with me... I draw much comfort from my huge army!!! Stick with me  till the end. It's a long road ahead, but the end is in sight! Pray for me this Friday as the chemo aids in killing every last bit of cancer. My mom will be driving me down and we will head back Friday as soon as chemo is done so I can be home asap.

LOVE my army:)


Holly said...

You are truly an Angel on earth! We don't know each other and it's funny the way I started following you! I was actually trying to find another girl that is a friend of a friend so I could get updates and pray for her as she is fighting cancer as well. I came to your blog a couple of months ago and for a little while I thought I was following her and as I started seeing pics I knew this wasn't who I though it was....crazy, I know!
And now I'm always giving my husband the updates and after every post I call my best friend and update her as well!
Anyway, there is NO doubt that it is not an accident that I found you! You inspire me with each and every word. You make me want to be a better person and have taught me more than you'll ever know!
God WILL see you through this and please know that you really do have an army of people out here thinking and praying for you!
Praying for Friday!! I'm going to call my girlfriend now and give her the updates!! ;)


Please know that you are in my prayers and I'll be in this with you until the end and beyond! :)

Beth said...

hey, this is Gail Lane's cousin, Bethany - just wanted you to know that I've been following your blog and praying for you. You are such an amazing person, and your love for the Lord is tremendously uplifting! I'm humbled so so much when I read your updates. Wow. And I am so happy for you that your chemo is almost over! You are in my prayers!

Anonymous said...

You are so spiritually mature, well beyond your years! What a blessing and a gift you are, and God is obviously at work in and through you. I'm thankful that God had our paths cross in Houston. Thanks for your postings. Will continue to keep you lifted in prayers today and each day forward.

Your sister in Christ,
Rhonda (from Pottery Barn)

Anonymous said...

Girl you are amazing! I'm so glad I caught this update tonight. I prayed for you and read the verses aloud! Keep letting God move in you and use you Aly! You are one beautiful Godly woman!

Laurie Payne

Anonymous said...

Oh sweet beautiful Aly.....I laughed and cried as I read your update for you are truely an inspiration to everyone around you! We are honored to be in your army, and thankful for the battle you/we have won! WOW, at the people you continue to touch, as He works through you. Thanking and praising Him for your complete healing!!! Sydney said, "Mrs. Aly isn't still fighting her cancer is she?" I said "NO", she is claiming and rejoicing in her VICTORY with the battle won!!! Praise God!!! Praying for you daily!!!!!

Troy, Lee Ann, Nick, and Sydney

Pam Scott said...

Aly, you are so wise for your age! I am an avid reader and fan of your blog. You have a way of cutting through the fluff and getting straight to the truth and to the most important thing. Thank you for sharing your faith and your experience with cancer through your blog. Let Christ be your stronghold and never give up! I'll be praying for you and your family.
Pam Scott

Sarah Gabriel said...

Hi Aly,
I came across your blog by accident today and literally sat down and read from the first post to the most recent. You are truly an inspiration and the love of God shines through your words - not to mention your smile! Please know I'm praying for you and thinking of you and I know God will deliver you from this. Your faith in Him is absolutely amazing and I thank you for the things you have taught me this afternoon. I can't wait to read your next update and am praying for you everyday.

Sarah Gabriel

Anonymous said...

I have been praying for you since your diagnosis. In the last couple of weeks I have felt moved to pray more. Then I saw your blog & talked to your mom at church & discovered you had a nasty cold. How amazing that God prompts prayer from people without knowing why & it is a direct answer to a need they didn't know you had. I am humbled by your faith, your attitude & your perseverence. I was recently looking throught some pictures of Emily. You were in several OCS Eagleline shots & a church ski trip we took--you were about 7th grade! Every Sunday I sit near two totally amazing women-- your mother & grandmother (& Joey too. LOL) And I think the same thing every week--Aly comes from two generations of tenacious women who have met the world head on & through faith have overcome. They live life with joy & exuberance. Good genes to have & Godly examples to follow. It is my privledge to pray for you. It is not in my nature to post on a blog--in fact this is a first. But I wanted you to know that there are people praying for you that don't say a word, don't see you often but remember you often in prayer. I am one of those. Denise Gullatt