Chemo #15 is history!!! It truly is crazy to believe that I have had 15 chemo treatments since October 28th. That's 33 plus hours that I have sat in a bed at MD Anderson with poison running through my body. The wonderful thing about this poison is that it was infused with God's healing power, where it damaged the cancer cells and nothing else. The thought that God chose me to show his miraculous power is completely humbling and such an honor.
"Because he cleaves to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him because he knows my name. Whenever he calls to me I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will rescue him and honor him with long life. I will satisfy him, and show him my salvation." Psalm 91:14-16
God has RESCUED and DELIVERED me, and He will continue to!!! Praise God!
When I first came to MD Anderson, they told me that I would have 3 steps to completing treatment and a total of 4 steps to get back to "normal", whatever that means after going through all of this:) The first step being 6 months of chemo, the second being surgery, the third being radiation, and the fourth being reconstructive surgery. The longest, hardest part is about to be DONE!!! God has supernaturally carried me thus far and I expect nothing less from here on out.
John 14:13 "You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father."
I, and many of you, have fervently asked and pleaded with God for my healing and He has heard us and answered. I no longer feel my lymph nodes to see if they feel smaller or am as concerned with the ultrasounds. I know God is healing me and I trust in Him. Yes, I have changed my diet, and yes, I have undergone chemotherapy treatment, but my healing comes from the ultimate healer, my Lord and my Savior. Jesus is bringing glory to His father through this process.
On Friday, I had blood work, met with my new doctor, Dr. Litton, and then had chemo. I really liked Dr. Litton, but I miss Dr. Morrow so much. My new nurse, Angela, seemed very nice and Dr. Litton seemed great as well. We got to see Amiee, my old nurse and it is just bittersweet:( At some point, I won't miss Amiee and Dr. Morrow as much, but they really are so great!!! I asked Dr. Litton about why I wasn't having ultrasounds anymore, and she said that she just does one ultrasound before FAC and then afterwards for the surgeon. She knows I am responding because of my first ultrasound on FAC, so that answers that, and I am putting those fears to rest. Oh, and she couldn't feel my lymph node at all:) I have given my fears to God, and He has replaced them with peace.
Dr. Litton immediately addressed fertility issues, which were of course, extremely important to Josh and me. She is very pro-pregnancy after breast cancer, and I am discovering that many doctors are not. So, needless to say, I am thankful she is on board. We want to have children very soon, and Dr. Litton explained to us that she advises patients to wait at least 2 years from diagnosis to start to try to have children. I'm not really sure what I was expecting, but it was encouraging to know it could happen soon:) She explained that before we start trying, she would encourage undergoing many different tests to just make sure nothing was hanging out there before a child was put in the mix. Josh and I are praying for direction and timing on when to start a family, so please join us in this....that God would not only preserve my fertility and give us the children He has for us, but that the timing and direction would be clear.
Chemo went well and my mom and I headed back right after chemo on Friday. I fell asleep during chemo because of all of the pre-meds, but really didn't sleep much on the way back. I have felt tired and blah, but outside of that, I have felt good. I feel so much better than the last round, because I don't have that terrible cold!
School has been going well and I have had the time and energy to complete my assignments! Midterms were last week and I did well on all of them... I am by no means an over-achiever this semester, but I am getting my work done:) I am so thankful to be in a PhD program that works with me during this tough time. Dr. Sutton and my MFT Family are amazing!!
So, next is not only the realization that my chemo treatments are coming to an end, which is exciting, but the next step of surgery is coming up. I have much peace about it all, but it is moving from one hard path to another- but I am ready for it.
I feel like I am sometimes beating a dead horse asking you all to continue praying for my healing, for our children, for our hearts and minds to be guarded, etc... But I am continually reminded in scripture that we are to KEEP praying and be persistent. So, I won't stop asking you to pray.
"Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere." Eph. 6:18
So, here is to persistent prayer:)
Chemo # 15!!