As most of you know, our blog was started just 3 days after my diagnosis. I remember Josh waking me up with the biggest grin on his face showing me what he started. You might assume that I was appreciative and happy to know he did this, but actually it was quite the opposite. I immediately got sick to my stomach and thought, "I do not want the world knowing all of this about me! I am a private person!"
I think I did a pretty good job at concealing my emotions in the moment, as to not hurt my amazing husband who was just trying to show me all the support I had, as he knew that if I knew all those people were praying for me---it would bring me great peace. And that it did. The support was mind blowing.
As my nausea settled from the initial hearing of him starting a blog, I tried to remain open to it, as I knew it would be a way to keep people updated on my progress. Little did I know that God was creating an avenue, a platform, a ministry to share His story of hope and healing in me.
The blog has made me be vulnerable. To be honest, before it I was guarded, and it was difficult for me to share emotions, fears, and worries with others, as that might put a burden on them. At one point in my journey, all veils came off. I didn't care what I looked like in pictures. I really didn't care what information was shared. I didn't care about being private, not one bit! I look back at pictures and things I wrote and just cringe!
I learned that when your life is threatened, you just don't care how you come off to people.
(or at least I didn't) You just simply want to live. My life was dependent on people's prayers---which led and continues to lead to lots of vulnerable moments.
So, why do we blog? I am done with cancer treatment, living a seemingly "normal" life, so why do we still blog? Well, let me share from my perspective.
- It is part of our ministry.
The blog has pushed me. People ask me, "Is writing therapeutic for you?", "Does it help you?", "Do you enjoy writing?" The answer to all of these are no, no, and no. The main reason I write is because I want to share the message of Jesus with anyone I can. When I see visitors on my site from Europe, or New York, China, or California, I just hope and pray that they have been hit with the tangible power and presence from God.
The most amazing emails, phone calls, and letters I get are from people who express that they came to know Jesus through my blog. What an honor to be a vessel to usher someone into the kingdom of God. Amazing.
I know most people get to our site via searching for information on breast cancer. But I truly believe and pray that they can be introduced to Jesus Christ through this blog, thus we continue to blog.
- It reminds us how God has saved us.
Even though I don't really enjoy writing or sharing, it is amazing to look back and see all that God has brought me through. It is literally like a diary of our lives over the past 2 1/2 years--emotionally and physically. To see true transformation- physically and spiritually, is life-giving to us. To be able to re-read a post is just what we need at times.
God tells us to remember---to never forget what he has done in our lives. The blog is a tangible way that forces us to never forget. The memorial stones in the following verse were used so that those Joshua appointed would never forget what God had done for them.
“And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever.” Joshua 4:7
- We are indebted to our supporters.
Finally, we blog because of you. Thousands of you have followed our journey, prayed for us, fasted on our behalf, served us meals, sent us gifts, encouraged us, helped us financially, kept our dog, paid our gas, mowed our grass... the list goes on and on. We want to make sure you know that the investments you have made into us and continue to make into us fuel us.
There is no physical way to ever repay many of you. But the least we can do is continue to show you of how your investment into our lives is playing out. My continued story of healing and life after cancer is a testimony in and of itself and my story continues…
We believe the most exciting parts of our journey are yet to come. We believe that God will give us children and I will meet all of the milestones that statistics don't necessarily agree with. The best is yet to come, and when it does, you can guess who will still be blogging about it….
Look forward to Part 2 from Josh coming soon!
I guess I'm overcoming my blog phobia,