Wednesday, October 30, 2013

My heart will choose to say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

These last couple of weeks have been a mix of highs and lows to the absolute extreme. I always try to bless the Lord, whether in victory or in trial and these last few weeks have definitely tested that. One thing is always true: God is good and is always to be praised. Even when I don't understand. Even when his presence is so true and so real, and even when it's hard to know if He's even here. Blessed be His name.

"Blessed be the name of the LORD now and forever." Psalm 113:2

The land that is plentiful

We've had many celebrations lately. The first celebration happened on October 17th, as it was 2 years from my diagnosis. This date is huge. BEYOND huge. For my type of cancer, the first 2 years are the scariest, so for me to meet this date is an answered prayer. A true miracle of God. A date I believed would come, but in my darker moments, was scared if it ever would. We had a wonderful day. Lunch with my mom, a movie and a special walk in the park with Josh. A picture from our walk below:


This date is also significant because it is the official date that our doctor wanted us to wait for to try for a family, so it holds even more significance than just being 2 years from my diagnosis. God knows the desire of our hearts to be parents, so to have the potential of it happening...it is overwhelmingly exciting!

The 28th of October was 2 years from my first chemo treatment at MD Anderson. Not necessarily a day I ever want to relive, but none the less, it was one of the first steps of the beginning of my healing. A painful place to go back to, but it reminds me of how far God has brought me. Remember in one of my last blog posts? I am striving to look for victories instead of the pain of the past! Easier said than done! Below is a picture from my 1st chemo treatment.



I've also had the amazing opportunity to share my story lately and it was the biggest blessing. I shared with the Good Hope Middle School FCA and the North Monroe Baptist Church MOPS group. I think that the combination of me telling my story and reaching so many of my 2 year milestones brought the devil full force against us the last week or so. So thankful God fights for me.

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still." Exodus 14:14

 Below are pictures from my speaking engagements at Good Hope, as well as NMBC MOPS.



The desert place

I was having some pretty bad headaches and dizziness shortly after I spoke at the MOPS group. I never have headaches, so I waited a few days, then contacted my oncologist. She ordered a brain MRI, and I had to wait a few days to get it scheduled. Once again, I can go into a panic, but praise God, not as much as in the past. Combine pain and fear and they can feed off of each other. God gave me a peace about it all, but I was scared none the less. It was a few really tough days for Josh and I, as well as our family.

The brain MRI was completely clear!!! Praise the Lord!!! So, the relief I felt was indescribable. But, the headaches have persisted. I then noticed my ear bothering me, which prompted me to go to an ENT. There was no problem with my ear, but my throat was really inflamed. I was prescribed an antibiotic, so I'm hoping that will help all of this!  I'm praying that the pain will completely go away! It has gotten slightly better, which is definitely a relief. So thankful to know what it is NOT, but of course wanting to know what it is. Oh the compassion I have developed for headache sufferers!!!

I also learned of a mentor/friend throughout my cancer journey whose breast cancer reoccurred. This is extremely tough for me and I cannot imagine what all they are going through. Please pray for her and her family. For complete and total healing. Comfort and peace.

The celebration

Many of you know that before we headed to MD Anderson 2 years ago, our close friends and family had a send-off/blessing party for us. It really prepared us for the battle we were about to fight. Now that we are on the other side of the cancer/physical battle, we wanted to celebrate that. We feel at such a loss of how to repay or thank those who have done so much for us, but we tried this Saturday night.

We had a celebration party with close friends and family and tried to thank so many of those who prayed us through these last 2 years. It was an ultimate thank you to my Lord and Savior and to those who were truly the church to us during our suffering, our desert place. Here is a picture of the night below:



One thousand gifts

I don't know if many of you have read one thousand gifts, by Ann Voskamp, but I highly recommend it. She is an amazing writer and truly has a gifting for seeing the everyday blessings that one might seemingly pass by. My amazing friend, Angie, who has literally carried me through these past 2 years with many texts, late night visits, and dinners where I cried and pour my heart out...well, she reminded me of this book and where Ann talks about life coming out of darkness. Even the womb, the darkest place is where life begins to be formed.

She reminded me of this at my 2 year celebration and I want to encourage you all with that. If you find yourself in the desert place, know that God is stretching you and using you. But if you hang on, if you bless His name through the darkness, through the desert place, through the valleys, LIFE will burst forth.

Thankful for LIFE. ABUNDANT LIFE! 

My heart will choose to say, blessed be your name,

Aly

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

1 comment:

Mands said...

Every time I read your posts..good or 'bad' it's always so encouraging. You and your husband are so encouraging. Reading today made me think of 'Desert Song' by Brooke Fraser and also this video...it's only 5 minutes and so good. If you have the time maybe watch it? It's amazing and one of the best (even though short) explanations on trials and pain I have ever heard. "God could have left Job alone" - Bob Sorge

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9FZ5uM_YfB4