The last few weeks have been intense for us. It all started to get crazy when one of the ladies Aly has followed through treatment had a reoccurrence. To describe what this kind of news can do to us and especially Aly would be impossible.
At that point we had committed to speak at an event in Mobile, AL at Pathway church. I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that once we agreed to do that event that we put a bullseye on us for satan to attack. He is very good and he came full on against Aly in the week leading up to the event in Mobile. Aly's back hurt as bad as it has at any point and then Aly and I were not at a high point in our marriage for that week or so. We love each other like crazy but when you put together all the elements we were dealing with all I can say is life was interesting.
The event we spoke at was called Fight Like a Mom, round 2. The people at the event were amazing. They have a group of women that meet every week for what they call moms prayer group. These moms get together and place their needs in a bucket and someone sends those out to the women in the group and for that week every women prays over every need every day. I myself can tell you that without my mom praying over me everyday I could have made life more interesting than I already did. And to verify how interesting I made life you can ask a few past teachers, McCurry, Worley, Dawson, Osbon (those are the only ones I'm telling you because they still like me).
After hearing all of the things that have come to pass just in the last year that they have been praying for needless to say Aly and I will be putting our names in their bucket when it comes to baby time. It won't be a matter of if but when. These ladies are believing God wants to act on their behalf.
We had a great time sharing our story Sunday night and we certainly pray that we shared what we were supposed to. Aly and I laughed when told my parents that we were really having to cut a lot of the story out due to time and they said well now you're just down to the nuts and bolts. Well we laughed and said oh no, there are nuts and bolts we cut out a long time ago because needless to say we could talk for hours if needed about the last 17 months.
The hard part about sharing our story is the fact that we are re-living some of the worst moments of our life. Moments where we truly struggled to know whether or not Aly would be healed, whether we would have children. Telling stories about how serious the doctors told us our situation was. In essence we were speaking the very information that the devil was, is and will try and use to strike fear and doubt into us.
Thursday afternoon we were in Gulf Shores and Aly and I went to watch Safe Haven. Needless to say we had NO IDEA what this movie was about. The short version is the dad has two kids and this new girl comes through and they begin dating. You learn pretty early that the mom had died of cancer. You then also see that she had written letters to her kids for when they graduated, married, had kids and other things. At the very end when they decided to get married the new girl is sitting on a swing outside the house and the husband walks out and hands her an envelope. To this point Aly and I had not looked at each other or said anything about the fact that the mom had passed away from cancer. So this dad walks out and hands his new wife an envelope that says "to her" (written from wife that passed away). At this moment Aly and I become audible basket cases. Thank goodness it was only us and one older couple in the theater.
I probably can't tell you how that connects to us. The reason it connects so heavily is because those are the thoughts that you go through in our situation. In part of the talk that we would be giving Sunday night Aly spoke about her dealing with guilt for our situation. She talked about at times not knowing if she even wanted to have a baby because then if there were a problem that she would be leaving me as a single dad. These conversations are wrenching.They are heartbreaking to talk about and even think about but for us it is reality. We cried loudly and then in another moment that would simply swamp anyone else but my wife Aly leans over and prays-asks-speaks-believes God that this will not be us and that she WILL LIVE.
Just as we told the ladies Sunday night, we are fighting like crazy to be desperate for God but not live either in ditch or on the mountain top. We have ditch moments which make us very happy for the mountaintop moments.
So now we are back home and trying to continue finding our new normal. Aly is going to turn in her last test tomorrow morning. She drove to see her sister in Shreveport tonight/ tomorrow.
Psalm 128
Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine flourishing within your home.
This verse is life to me.
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