Friday is surgery day!

I cannot believe that Friday will be my last and final surgery. This surgery has seemed forever away and for it to be here makes me so grateful. It has meant so much to me for those of you who have told me you will be praying for me on Friday. I hadn't updated the blog in a while, and I still have people I don't know very well tell me they are praying for my surgery, and remembered that it was this Friday! That means so much to me that they keep up with me and still pray specifically for me. Thank you to  all who have done this. It means the world to me.

We will go down to Houston on Wednesday, and we have my pre-op appointments first thing Thursday morning. We should find out more details of what will actually happen during surgery in that visit and will have my surgery on Friday, hopefully in the morning. According to how I am doing and what all they do in surgery, will determine how long I will stay in Houston.

Many people have asked what this surgery will be like and I'm not exactly sure how to answer that. One thing I do know is that it is much different than a breast augmentation. I know they are replacing my expanders with implants and doing a lot of work on my scars and trying to make my skin appear as healthy as possible. I still have a good bit of skin that is radiated and red, so I think they will be taking out some of that. I am not sure if they will want to do skin grafts, fat grafts, etc. to make me look more normal or what. A lot of what they do will be determined in surgery. For instance, if they take out the expanders and put in the implants and something does not settle right, they may have to reduce the size of the implants, or take out more skin, or put in more skin. Crazy, right?! It is a little unnerving going into a surgery not knowing what all will be done. I do know that they will take amazing care of me and that ultimately they are doing what makes me look as normal as they possibly can. I may or may not have drains, just according to what all they have to do. So, this surgery is much more than a breast augmentation, but much less than the other surgeries I have had, and that is good news:) Crazy to be having implants put in and I still have yet to see an implant! Not exactly how I would have pictured getting breast implants...Dr. Villa always reminds me that the goal is to look as normal in clothing as possible. So I am remembering that, but I also know God is big enough to have me look great underneath as well. Praying and believing I will look wonderful.

Of course, I want to look great, but most of all, I want to feel better. I still have very limited motion of my left arm and my radiation doctor said that could be in part to the tissue expander being sewed into my muscle. So, I am praying that the tightness is my pec muscle is relieved and my motion is better. The tissue expanders are sewed into my muscle, whereas the implants will be free floating. I am also praying that I feel relief in being able to comfortably lay on my stomach and not feel so much like I have an iron bra on all the time. It is so hard to explain what it feels like. I am so much better than what I was, but to feel like I have baseballs shoved under my chest muscle is not the best feeling:) I am thankful for a surgery that I am looking forward to. I looked forward to the others because I knew they were all steps toward my healing, but to have one that I am really looking forward to because I may feel better afterwards is refreshing. I, of course, am still nervous about the surgery but God has given me peace and I am ready.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Life has seemed eerily normal over the past few weeks. School and work are going well and I am making some strides toward my dissertation writing. My pain has seemed to have lessened alot in my abdomen and my stomach seems to be calming down some. Praise the Lord. His goodness is overwhelming. I know He delights in seeing me more peaceful.

We had such an exciting week last week, as my sweet niece, Sullivan Reese was born. My sis-in-law, Rachel, delivered amazingly and Lee and Rachel are wonderful parents. How blessed little Sulli is to have the God-fearing parents that she does. She was 7 lbs. 3oz and born on Thursday, January 24th at 11:16 a.m. We have had a wonderful time loving on her. Lee and Rachel live just a few houses down from us, so let's just say we will be seeing a lot of Sullivan. Can't wait to make sweet memories with her. I just a few short weeks, my sister will have her baby boy. So thankful to witness these miracles. It's amazing to see 2 people I love so much give birth to another...life and giving life is truly a miracle. The way God knit us together is so completely amazing...

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

January 24th was also a special day for Josh and I, as it was our 10 year dating anniversary. I am so blessed to have "grown up" with my husband. I was 15 when we started dating, and oh my goodness, how much I have changed in the last 10 years! How blessed I have to have the opportunity to grow up with and grow old with my husband. I know I am one of the few and far between. Thank you Lord for January 24, 2003.

I had another opportunity to speak and share God's story this past Friday at Cedar Crest Baptist Church. One of my great friends from school, Lauren, leads a girls' group at her church. Her husband, Jarrett, is the youth pastor there and does such a wonderful job leading the students to Christ. So, I spoke to this girls' group on Friday night. This was the first time I shared my entire testimony. Other times I just shared about how God helped me through my journey, or breast cancer awareness, or about my treatment, but this time, I was able to share more and I thought it went well.  I am still trying to get comfortable with speaking in public, but I just pray that the Lord speaks, and not me. I know if He is able to do this, then his purposes will be accomplished. They were such a great group of girls. We got to talk a little after I spoke and I answered any questions they had. Excited about other opportunities I have coming up to share God's miraculous story!

Lately I have been meditating on Romans 12:12, where it talks about being joyful in hope. This is a scripture I have read probably hundreds of times and I don't know if I've ever meditated on it. The "joyful in hope"part of the verse has really struck me. I want to be joyful in hope. I may not be able to see the end of my story, but I know what I hope for. I know I hope for an eternity with Christ, for long life, for children to raise to serve the Lord, for seeing a Godly generation follow me and to all be together in heaven... I can be joyful in these hopes, even though they are yet to be realized. That is what I am focusing on...being joyful in HOPE! God is my only hope. Even when I don't feel joyful, I can be joyful in hope. It is a commandment and I know I want to obey, so here is to living with intentional joy in hope!

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12

I love you all. Josh will update you all as to surgery details. Please be praying for everything to go perfectly! Enjoy pictures below of my sweet niece and my husband and I celebrating 10 years.

10 years with my love

 

Loving on my beautiful niece, Sullivan

Every day is a victory...

Hey guys,

I'm back from Houston and everything went perfectly at my appointments. I am so grateful and I have to continue to remind myself to be thankful for this good visit, as it's easy to focus on the negative things. The atmosphere at MDA is great, but it is still an atmosphere I don't want to be around, and that can get me down, regardless of good reports... I am working on this!

My mom drove me down to meet Josh in Houston and I am so grateful for her always willingness to drive me to Houston. We went to church on Sunday and then met my sweet friend, Irena for lunch, at a place called Roots Bistro-so good! I've told you before, but I met Irena while we were both getting chemo at MD Anderson. She is so wonderful and is doing so great. She recently had her reconstructive surgery, had many complications, but is doing wonderfully. She has the same oncologist that I do, Dr. Litton, so we have that in common as well. I praise the Lord for both of our healings!

We ate with the Stanfills Sunday night and went to bed early because my appointments started at 7:10 on Monday morning. The Stanfills live about 40 minutes from the hospital, and with Houston morning traffic, we normally leave at least an hour before my appointments, so we often get up very early while in Houston. We wouldn't have it any other way. We love our second family, the Stanfills. They have gone above and beyond for us. We love them and miss them when we go for periods without seeing them.

My ultrasound was first thing Monday morning and once again it was very scary. I kept praying that I would get a rad tech that would actually talk to me, and that the radiologist would be friendly and positive, and that is exactly what I got. Thank you God! My ultrasound tech was one I had when I was undergoing chemo (Jacqueline), so she remembered me. She was very nice. When I asked her if everything looked good, she told me that her job was "to perform and not interpret":) So, I had to wait on the radiologist. This was the first time that a radiologist walked in and said, "It looks like those lymph nodes still appear benign and normal, but I want to see them myself." I appreciated that so much. Normally, they are so silent until the very end (which seems like an eternity), but just that small statement immediately put me at ease. After looking, she said that she would be looking forward to seeing me when I just come back for a regular follow up. ME TOO! So, they both left and I broke down in that little room by myself. I just kept repeating, "Thank you Lord, thank you Lord."

1 Chron. 16:34 "Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever."

So, I told the news to Josh and we waited for my appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Litton. It was like I had been given drugs because I was just so, so happy. We waited for a long time, and finally got called back. Dr. Litton and my nurse, Angela, basically asked me a bunch of questions and reiterated that it will just take a long time for me to feel back to normal. Dr. Litton says that many people do not feel completely well for 2-3 years after treatment. So, that was encouraging to me. They complimented me on my diet and exercise and encouraged that, which was good. We were able to ask a lot of fertility questions, and she continued to be very stickler on waiting for 2 years from diagnosis. So, we will pray a lot about when we will try for a baby, but it looks like we will be able to move toward a family in October. So thankful.

Psalm 127: 3-5 "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

Dr. Litton and Angela both stressed what October will mean for me. They say if, but I say when I make it to October, I will be out of the most scary time for my type of cancer. So, October will be huge, for my life and for my future family. Please pray that October will come soon and that the Lord will carry me until then, and always. I know He will.

I left from my visit with Dr. Litton a little sad. Everything was positive in the visit, but I just left discouraged. I think any time I am reminded of how scary this time until October can be, it can get me in an extreme funk. I was explaining this to Josh as we were waiting for an elevator at the hospital and he gave me hope in a way he reframed my situation (yes, he's learned some therapy techniques:)) The waterworks immediately came on as the elevator was opened with several other people, and I am trying to hold back heaves. Josh was very sensitive, but trying not to laugh as I was trying so hard to hold the tears back!

We had a great rest of the day on Monday. We met up for lunch at our favorite restaurant, Ruggles Green, with our amazing friends, the Summers. They opened their home to us while going through chemo, have taken us to lunch, taken care of us, prayed for us, had us on their family beach trip this summer, and been so very generous to us. We so enjoyed getting to see them and spend time with them, as usual. The rest of the day, we shopped and went to our favorite Houston places. We finished off a great day by watching the not-so-entertaining National Championship football game at the Stanfills.

On Tuesday, we had an appointment with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Strom, since he was the one who ordered the ultrasound. He was very pleased with my ultrasound and glad to see me doing so well. He said that he wanted me to have another ultrasound this summer, and then after that ultrasound, they would move me to just routine check-ups. Oh how I long for that day!!! I left this appointment uplifted and thankful that someone felt ok with not seeing me for a little while. Thank you Lord for these bits of hope!

We headed home after a trip to Whole Foods and I am trying to enjoy my last little bit of no school/work. I start back with everything on Monday. Please pray I can find balance as things become busier. I am making some progress on my dissertation, which is very encouraging to me. I am determined to not get back into a "rat race."

I also got to share a bit of my story on Wednesday night at church. Each year, they open up a Wednesday night for people to share what God has done for them in the past year. Last year, I made a video testimony because I was getting chemo and could not be at church, but this year I was here, and able to share just a few things that God did for me in 2012. Obviously 2012 was the hardest year of my life, but it was the year that God performed a miracle in me--- I was healed and made whole in 2012---so I praise God for 2012. Through all my struggles, God has remained sovereign and been such a good God to me. I have some other opportunities coming up, where I'll be able to share my story. I desire to be a trustworthy vessel and I pray God's story of my healing continues to be shared and draw hearts to Him.

So, next comes school, work and my surgery on February 1st. I don't have to go back to Houston until January 30th, since I have my pre-op appointments on the 31st. I am so excited about this surgery. To be in less pain, to look and feel more normal, and to have finality of my surgeries. I am so thankful.

Please continue to pray for me as I battle fear each day. Thank God for my healing and pray that His angels shield me from the devil's schemes. Each day is a struggle, but each day is a victory. I am reminded that each day is a blessing and God goes before me and goes behind me...He's got this... I just have to trust...each day, every moment, every second...

I will update as we get closer to surgery time:):):) Here is a pic of me and my sweet friend Irena at lunch on Sunday.

Ringing out my hair and ringing in the new year!

Yes, it's true, I can now officially ring out my hair:) What an awesome feeling! Last year at this time, I had no hair, and now I have enough to ring out...wow, when God created time, he knew what he was doing. I am a believer in that time can definitely heal...well it can also grow your hair!!! Thank you Lord!

Eccl. 3:1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years. I have continued to feel so much more like myself since getting my good scan results. The timing of my results, paired with the joy of the holidays is truly amazing. Definitely the best Christmas and New Year's to date. It is as if all of my senses are heightened to the awareness of God's goodness in the ordinary, little things. As we woke up on Christmas morning, Josh and I talked about this Christmas being the best yet. Of course, for obvious reasons, but we are just more aware of the meaning of life and how brief it truly is. I loved being with our families on Christmas...we are so blessed.

It is officially less than a month until my implant exchange surgery! I am getting really excited about it and am really not nervous at all. I will not miss these tissue expanders one bit...there is no better way to explain it other than having rocks under your chest muscle. Sounds fun, right? I'm obviously very thankful for the expanders, but I've had them in for over 8 months and am ready to say goodbye! I will go to Houston on the 31st for my pre-op appointment, then my implant surgery will be February 1st!

A lot will happen between now and my implant surgery. I will start back to school, which is my last semester of PhD coursework! ahhh!!! So thankful! I will also start back to work and will have a niece at the end of January. Josh and I are so excited about this sweet little baby girl and how soon she will be here. Then, a month later, at the end of February, my sister and her husband will be welcoming their baby boy. Another baby to love...So many of our best friends are pregnant or have just had babies! We want to be parents so badly and are trusting in God's perfect timing. Please continue to pray for my fertility as we desire to have our children grow up with their cousins and our friends' children. We are continuing to believe and trust that we will have children of our own. Dr. Litton told us that she is a rare doctor at MD Anderson to encourage children after breast cancer. I am so thankful she is our doctor. I've known ever since I was little girl that I was meant to be a mother...trusting it will come to pass. I am striving to have the faith of Sarah! He who has promised is faithful!!

Hebrews 11:11 "By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive seed, and she bore a child when she was past the age, because she judged Him faithful who had promised."

We should be able to ask a bunch of fertility questions at my oncology check up next week (Monday). I can't believe it is time for another oncology check up. It will be the first time we have seen Dr. Litton in several months, so it will be great to see her and ask a lot of questions. I also will have a breast ultrasound on Monday to re-check those lymph nodes that alarmed Dr. Strom 3 months ago. We are praying and believing that the lymph nodes will look completely normal- please join us in praying this. Once this ultrasound comes back good, I will let out one big breath in knowing that all tests are normal. My ultrasound is Monday morning and my radiation doctor will go over the results with me on Tuesday.

This will be my first trip to Houston in over a month! I am looking forward to it...to spending time with the Stanfills, hopefully seeing some of our other Houston friends, going to Whole foods, some of our fave stores and restaurants.... It is nice to be looking forward to a Houston trip. A new year, a new life, a new hope for Josh and I and our future family!

Please pray for great ultrasound results on Monday..that the lymph nodes look completely normal. Enjoy some pictures from New Years below. I love you all!

 Celebrating with some sparklers and fireworks!

Happy New Year!

Striving to make my heaven IN heaven!

After 5 long months of pain and symptoms, I got the most amazing news. Everything looked great on my CT scan. There looks to be a possible cyst on my left ovary, but nothing in my area of pain. I finally feel like myself again. I know in my heart and I stand on my confession of faith that I am healed, but when you consistently have pain in a scary area, it is hard to act as if everything is fine, because it's not.  Even though I still don't know what is causing the pain, I know what is is NOT! The burden that has been lifted is unexplainable.

When I heard the news from my CT scan, I was home alone sitting on my couch about to eat lunch. After I found out the good news, I was so overcome with emotion. I dramatically put my lunch on the coffee table and sprawled out on my living room floor in the most violent cry you have probably ever heard:) My mascara was ALL over my face and I was inconsolable. I'm sure I was a sight to see, but it was a precious moment with my Savior. I just kept yelling thanks to the Lord over and over, followed by apologizing to him over and over for ever doubting Him in the slightest. I tried calling Josh and couldn't reach him. He tried calling me back and I missed his call. When he came home, we hadn't talked yet. Let's just say I had to quickly tell him the news was good, because by looking at me or hearing me, he probably thought something was majorly wrong:) Oh, the joys of living with me!!!

After hearing the news, I have been so giddy. Little girl giddy. Like skipping around the house, wanting to do cartwheels in the front yard giddy. No exaggeration. I'm excited to go to the grocery store, clean my house, play with my dog--just doing anything I have such joy that I haven't had in a very long time. I always try to choose joy and choose happiness regardless of my situation, but to actually feel it bubbling up inside is an indescribable feeling. So, I am enjoying this joy with overwhelming thankfulness to my God.

1 Corinthians 15:57 "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

As far as the pain is concerned, we are not too sure what the next step is. I am meeting with my G.I. doctor on the 27th to see what the next step is. Please pray that we can know what to do to stop my pain in the most natural way possible. I am trying a lot of diet changes to see if that helps. I am already eating very healthy, but will be experimenting with taking some foods out of my diet to see if that helps.

I am reminded through all of my pain, fears, and hardship to make my heaven IN heaven. If I had a "perfect" life, or if things went just as I have planned, why would I want heaven? My heaven might be here on this earth. That is scary. I know I've shared it before, but I am looking forward to heaven more than ever before. I long for it--- for Jesus to come back. I think we often hear about storing our treasures in heaven, but I don't know if I have ever truly understood what that meant. Not that I understand fully now, but I know that these experiences have helped me realize that I often long for my heaven to be on earth. Do I believe I will have blessings on this earth? Yes. Do I believe God has favor on my life and wants to give me the desires of my heart? Yes. But, I want to desire heaven---not heaven on earth. As blessings come my way, I am praying I am reminded to not make earth my heaven. I will strive to be in awe of my blessings and always keep a heaven- focus. I can rejoice and thank God for trials, as it causes me to long for a kingdom that will stand forever.

Romans 8: 18-19 "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."

So, the next time I head to Houston will be the second week of January. Please continue to pray for my oncology check up and my ultrasound check up--that everything will look perfectly. That check up will  be about 8 months since my mastectomy. That is so hard to believe, but I am so overjoyed. Josh laughs at me, because I can turn a light comment to a serious one in a heartbeat. I don't mean to, but it is just where my mind is. He will say something like, "I can't believe Christmas is coming," or "Your surgery will be here so soon," and I will comment back and say, "I'm so thankful I'm alive" or "I just thank Jesus for getting me to this point." So yes, the mood can change pretty quickly in the Taylor household, but it is just constantly on my mind. Big events or milestones can send me into a tailspin, as I become overwhelmed with thankfulness for God choosing to keep me here on this earth. I can be so extremely sensitive at times, and I am thankful for those who have endured my tears, fears, anger, joy, and ever-changing moods. I've always been very even-keeled, so God is teaching me much with all of these different emotions!

Josh and I are slowly but surely sending gifts and thank you's to so many of you who have gone above and beyond for us. We pray you are beyond blessed this Christmas season. Through my own struggles this Christmas season, I have experienced sorrow and struggles in a joyful season. It makes me ache for those who are struggling during this time of year. To seemingly have no joy in a season that is supposed to be full of joy can be overwhelming. God has made me more sympathetic and empathetic towards those suffering as I have suffered myself. Once again, God uses my struggles for His glory.

Praying you all have a very Merry Christmas. Join me in being in awe of Christ, as he was born on earth to save me and have relationship with ME. OVERWHELMING! I am copying lyrics and the youtube video to my favorite Christmas song below. There have been many car rides as I have belted it out and cried. It doesn't even feel like a Christmas song to me, and I wish it was played all year long. I remember listening to it last year around this time, and I felt it took my thoughts and they were put into a song. Enjoy. May Christ continue to be born in me!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsXOP7aQeqQ

Be born in me

By Francesca Battistelli

Everything inside me cries for order
Everything inside me wants to hide
Is this shadow an angel or a warrior?
If God is pleased with me, why am I so terrified?
Someone tell me I am only dreaming
Somehow help me see with Heaven's eyes
And before my head agrees, my heart is on its knees
Holy is He. Blessed am I.

Be born in me, be born in me
Trembling heart, somehow I believe that You chose me
I'll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem
Be born in me

All this time we've waited for the promise
All this time You've waited for my arms
Did You wrap yourself inside the unexpected
So we might know that Love would go that far?

Be born in me, be born in me
Trembling heart, somehow I believe that You chose me
I'll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem
Be born in me

I am not brave
I'll never be
The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy
I'm just a girl
Nothing more
But I am willing, I am Yours

Be born in me, be born in me
I'll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem
Be born in me

Good results and CT abdomen scan scheduled

Well, God makes himself famous again... My tests went really well yesterday. My doctor said that he took some biopsies (which is standard) and it looks like I might have gastritis. I am still trying to research what exactly it is and how I can help it. He sent something off to test for the gastritis that he thinks may be a bacteria that an antibiotic might clear up. I do not like taking medicine and would like to do things as natural as possible, so pray that I can help heal my body in the most natural way possible. Outside of that, he said everything looked good.

I asked about my gallbladder, liver, and kidneys and he said that he is unable to view those organs in the tests. I thought that all of that could be looked at during these tests, but I was wrong. The doctor is has ordered me a CT scan of my abdomen and pelvis to make sure everything is ok. It is scheduled for this upcoming Monday, the 17th.  So, I am extremely thankful and definitely relieved that these tests went well, but of course, I have the waiting for the return of the biopsies and abdomen CT scan coming up. I am trying to just rejoice in the moment, and trust God to take care of tomorrow- I will rejoice in today. So, I should hear from the doctor soon to get the biopsy results, and now I wait until my CT scan on Monday.

I am thankful a CT scan is scheduled because it is a very in depth scan, and one I wanted to have for a long time, but have waited for and trusted doctor's timings on all of these tests. I am doing ok emotionally...trusting God with all my heart. I am human and get very scared... I once again beg you all to pray for a clear CT scan. Trusting that this test will be clear and I will have even more peace of mind.  Once this test is clear, cancer is ruled out for affecting the pain in my abdomen. God knows that this test needed to happen for my peace of mind. Trusting Him...

I am reminded of people who were counted righteous by their faith in the Bible. The one that sticks out to me is Abraham. It is funny how many people I have been able to identify with in the Bible through my suffering- Jesus, Mary, Abraham, Paul, David, Job...I have literally felt a bond with these people! I know my suffering pails in comparison, but there still is more of a bond.

As you know, I have also felt many bonds with other breast cancer survivors, and my friend, Erin is one of them. God healed her supernaturally from stage 4 breast cancer. I found her blog last spring and she has been a constant encouragement to me, and our treatment has been similar and around the same time frame. I hope to meet her one day. Check out her awesome blog: http://erin-fightingbreastcancer.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2012-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&updated-max=2013-01-01T00:00:00-08:00&max-results=50

When I was about to get my bone scan in October, I wept at Erin's words as she commented on my blog. I happened to read it in a weak moment in my bathroom. She said, "This is not cancer, you're just under attack because of all the awesome things you do for the kingdom. God answered your prayers for TOTAL healing already. You claim that healing and don't stop, no matter what you hear or fear. This is a great chance for you to live out your faith--believing in what cannot be seen. There are no what-ifs or action plans for worst-case scenario, because that would be like not believing God healed you entirely. Remember, Abraham's faith was credited as righteousness when he spoke things about his future that seemed unbelievable. This is your Abraham moment, and I know you are a righteous woman!" 

Father, please help me have the faith of Abraham- faith for my healing, faith for my future, faith for living a long life, faith that you are taking care of me. I want to go where you say go, even if that means not knowing where I am going. I want to believe in you for children of my own, like Abraham did, when circumstances would say differently. I pray I am righteous in your eyes father. I believe Lord; help my unbelief.

Hebrews 11:8 "It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going."

Romans 4:3 "For the Scriptures tell us, "Abraham believed God, and God counted him as righteous because of his faith."

Oh, and God gave me awesome news today as I am trying to stay focused on him and not on these scary tests. My surgery scheduler called and my breast implant surgery is scheduled for February 1st! I am so excited and thankful. I trust that God is holding my hand and giving me bits of hope to carry me through these tests. He is such a good God. If there is one thing that is true, it is that God is good.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND MY CT SCAN ON MONDAY!!! You've prayed me through before and through my last test... I NEED it again. I am one needy person. Just being honest of where I'm at... 

The joy that will come when the CT results are good....cannot explain!!! Pray, fast, join me with expectation of these good test results....

Below are some pictures from our blessing cruise. I am going to call it our "hope" cruise, because it was there God gave me hope I desperately needed. To those who helped make this trip possible, we pray God blesses you more than you can imagine. May you reap the blessings of what you have sown into me!!!

2 Corin. 9:6-8 "Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."

At a show one night

Having fun dancing the last night!

 The girls at dinner

In San Juan, Puerto Rico

In St. Thomas

One of our formal nights

Reminder to pray for me Tueday, Dec. 11th

I just wanted to write a short post to remind you all to pray for me tomorrow. I check in for my tests at 2:30 and they should begin at 3:00. I am having both an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. We should find out results from these tests as soon as they are over, so that is definitely a relief. It should just last an hour or so, then I will wake up and go over results.

God has given me an amazing peace of mind. My symptoms have remained, but my spirit is at rest. I just continue saying a verse that I say often.." I am holding fast to my confession of faith without wavering, for He who has promised is faithful." I am continuing to believe that my confession of faith is complete healing and that it will be revealed in every test done.

I am asking you to pray right now as you read this and any other time I cross your mind. We have seen what happens when we come together and pray. Let us not stop doing this because the storm as seemingly settled, but may we be encouraged to press on harder than ever because of what we've seen God do when we do what we are supposed to do! I've said it before, but many of His promises are conditional and I (we) must continue doing our part of those promises.

I am begging you to pray with me tomorrow for clear results. Looking forward to posting the good news... Love you all...

Breast Reconstruction Surgery coming soon!

So, my mom and I headed to Houston last week and had a great visit. She has taken me these last 2 times and she is always willing to take me! I have a great mom! We got to visit some with the Stanfill's on Wednesday night and then headed to my appointment in the morning. I received my final expansion! They were not able to expand my left side to match the right because of the radiation done on that side and just simply couldn't stretch much more. So, during surgery they will make the right side smaller to match the left, since the left cannot be expanded further. This means that I will be slightly smaller chested than I was before my mastectomy, and I am at peace with that. When I had my lat-flap surgeries, we thought there was a chance I wouldn't be able to expand at all, so I am thankful to have breasts of any size:)

 

1 Thessalonians 5:18  "In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

The soreness from the expansion is going away now and a surgery date is in the process of being set! During my lat-flap surgeries, I thought I wouldn't have surgery intil April or May, but that has changed. Dr. Villa expressed that he would feel comfortable doing my final surgery in January or February! His staff is supposed to call me in the next week or so to nail down an official date, but it will definitely be in January or February. Crazy to think I won't see them until the day before my surgery. To go from seeing them every week or every 2 weeks to a month or 2...surreal, but of course a good thing. I will see Dr. Villa for a pre-op appointment the day before surgery and have surgery the next day. I may have to stay overnight in the hospital, but if I don't I will at least need to stay in the Houston area. I may or may not have drains...a lot of these decisions will be decided in the operating room. But regardless, at the most, it should be a 4-5 day Houston stay and then we can head home! It really is exciting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I can't believe it is December 5th. It is interesting to talk to Josh and read his writings of what he remembers from all of last year's events. It is crazy to be going through something alongside someone and have so many different experiences and perspectives. Things he remembers I don't remember at all. Things he thought about, I didn't think about at all. Things that were significant to me, weren't to him and vice versa. You all know I am long-winded at this point, but one day, we will write all of what we went through down. My version may not fit, blog-style:) I do know that when December 1st hit this weekend, I remembered how much I was awaiting December 1st last year, as it was my 1st ultrasound check-up after I started chemo. It was our first tangible, physical sign that my cancer was going away...Praise the Lord for December 1st. A new month, a new hope, a new sign of what God was doing in me.

"Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning." Lam. 3:23

I shouldn't have to go back to MD Anderson until the beginning of January. I will have my 3 month appointment with my oncologist, Dr. Litton, as well as have my follow up ultrasound with Dr. Strom. To remind you...2 months ago, I had a breast ultrasound that showed 2 lymph nodes that had not previously showed up on ultrasounds. This concerned Dr. Strom, but he thought there was a good chance that the new ultrasound equipment was just allowing them to see lymph nodes that were always there, but had not been detected by previous equipment. These lymph nodes looked completely benign, but he wanted me to come back in 3 months to do a follow up- which is what this appointment in January will be- so please, please pray for this too.

I wanted to update you all on the surgery and thank you for continuing to pray for me. My symptoms have seemed a little better this week, so I can't thank you enough for your prayers. God is giving me more peace about these tests coming up on Tuesday. I can't eat anything on Monday or Tuesday, so it will make me fast and pray and believe God for a good report. Please consider joining me. I will remind you all as Tuesday gets closer to pray. Once again, I need you to fight with me. Please put on the WHOLE armor of God...for you and for me. I love you guys.

Eph. 6:10-17  "A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.  Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

Posted below are some pictures from Thanksgiving and from a Tacky Christmas Party we had on Friday night. I also ran in a 5K this weekend to raise money for Leukemia research. My great friend, Angie helps put this race on, and she is a leukemia survivor. She has held my hand through my journey. (that is an understatement) Thanking God for new beginnings, fun, and the ability to run!

Bowling with the Taylors after thanksgiving lunch

 



 

Our Tacky Christmas party with our wonderful friends!

 

After the Scrooge 5K