Can You Climb Out of a Dark Hole?

How do you climb out of a dark hole?

Catching Aly Sleeping. 

I will not ask if you have been in a dark place. You have. How did you get out?

Someone needs to hear about the experience. Why?

So the next time it starts getting dark they will know what color rope to throw down to you.

I can't put my finger on when it happened but I know a general time. It was a positive thing that occupied my brain.

I was preparing for a big event in my job, and much of my time and attention went there instead of focusing on what gives me life. 

I forgot somewhere before the event to give God part of my day. I forgot that the only way I am in a place to do God's work is because of God's time.

You see, sin would be easier to avoid. This was kingdom work so I wrapped myself in it and pushed ahead. What an event.

What my Ph.D. Means To Me

Kinda Crazy

I have gotten so many congratulations in the past week and it really means the world to me. Graduate education can be kind of a silent battle, as most people my age are full-time working and people can forget I am still in school. I often get the "You're still in school?" looks and comments. Which I totally understand! 9 years in college---wow! What kind of crazy people do that? Yep, that is apparently me.

Here is a pic from my undergraduate graduation in 2009.

"No, I can't be the school nurse now!"

Not that kind of doctor

"Now that you're a doctor, will you be the school nurse now?" ha. Yes, one of my students asked me this yesterday at school. We had a little discussion on M.D. doctor vs. Ph.D. doctor---not sure if she understood at all, but I tried my best! I passed my dissertation defense, and that is what I've been up to lately, hence the lacking of blog posts.

Some middle school students decorated my office door celebrating my "doctor" status!

Yes. I passed my dissertation defense! Wow, what relief. Some times in life, I have had a goal and once I reach it, I don't really feel what I was expecting. I tend to have high expectations, and over the years I've learned to lower them somewhat, as I know they are relationship killers. But these expectations were MORE than reached!

Moments- Part 2.

Moments

Several months ago, I wrote a post on "Moments" and described a few moments through my cancer/healing journey that have stuck out for me. Read it here. Well, this past weekend, I had another one of those moments when my husband and me completed our first half marathon together.

Resistant Emotions- 6 Month check up!!!

6 Month Check up

My 6 month check-up has come and gone, and wow, I am so thankful. It's crazy how much anxiety I was holding on to. I often times find it hard to even talk about my anxious thoughts and concerns, as no one can really understand, but I slept the best I've slept in months on Friday night. Each good check up is like a breath, a deep breath that has been waiting to come out.

Gingerbread houses- VERDICT. Our giving update.

Pinterest Fails

So, I've had lots of guesses on the gingerbread houses, and most people guessed right! I know it will be a huge surprise to most of you, but yes, Josh won the gingerbread contest. Surprise, surprise. I thought I had given myself a chance by following Pinterest's advice, but...as you saw, mine soon collapsed. I should have a website devoted to my "Pinterest fails." It was still fun to laugh about. It always starts out as a great idea and then goes terribly wrong. Wreaths, calendars, pictures, you name it- I have brought it to a craft party so excited and left with something to throw away the next day.

Trying has to count for something, right?

I Don't Need a Baby to Believe

I am all about a baby. In fact, I am ready for it. Waiting.

Only question is will I believe with no baby? God has proved he's active and living in our life. I don't have to look far.

Healing of Cancer.

Breaking of my hard heart.

Birthing of a desire for change.

I made a mistake about 7 months into this journey where I found myself abandoning part of God's plan when I found a backup plan that made sense to me.

You see, I didn't abandon THE plan. I just abandoned the part of the plan I found a replacement for.

I will not repeat this heartbreaking mistake. I will lose all I have to not repeat this.

I am tired of the world I became comfortable in. It was built around the wisdom of man that was bound to fail.

Are you making your love for God and desire for him conditional on something you are asking him to do?

In my prayer journal I pray by the ACTS method. The last one is supplication. I ask God to do all kinds of things. The first being for us to have a baby. Multiple babies at that.

Right now I can see those babies. My latest pictures are two girls. Curly brown hair for one and blonde for the other. I want a replica of their mom. I pray their hearts are broken for God now. Before we ever know them.

I only get to ask God to do things after I have given him adoration, after I have confessed my sins, after I have thanked him for all that he has already done.

My requests are known to God. Maybe my biggest request should be for his plan. Not mine.

Josh