Aly says she is feeling ok but that her right side where the work was done is tight and sore. Not sure I can make it make sense but just imagine one of your back muscles being pulled around and secured to your chest. Without feeling it myself I'm assuming that it is just incredibly tight and then she has to lay flat on her back all night.
I don't imagine that helps. These hospital beds constantly adjust with air to prevent bed soars, that equals a permanently rolling water bed.
Aly can have water now and some kind of soup. She says that she is feeling better after that.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Out of surgery almost going to her own room
I am in here with Aly in the room where they take her to recover.
A minute ago the nurse told Aly that she couldn't have any water until tomorrow. Aly sounds like a emphazemic smoker and try telling them you can't have any water.
Well we are now in our room. Same floor as after the mastectomy.
Aly says she is feeling well. The hot flashes are not near as bad as last time.
I am done for today. I will update tomorrow at some point. We have the best friends in the world. You guys continue to blow us away. Know that it isn't taken lightly and is fuel for us.
A minute ago the nurse told Aly that she couldn't have any water until tomorrow. Aly sounds like a emphazemic smoker and try telling them you can't have any water.
Well we are now in our room. Same floor as after the mastectomy.
Aly says she is feeling well. The hot flashes are not near as bad as last time.
I am done for today. I will update tomorrow at some point. We have the best friends in the world. You guys continue to blow us away. Know that it isn't taken lightly and is fuel for us.
Surgery right now.
We met with the doctors this morning and plans have changed. The spot on Aly's right breast had started at the size of a pencil eraser and today it is the size of a quarter and the tissue expander is exposed.
We spent about an hour talking through all the options of what to do and when to do it. The best they could come up with is to replace as much skin as they can with healthy skin and muscle from her back. The PA had just finished with all the paperwork and had left and then came back in and clarified that Aly had not had anything to eat or drink since midnight.
Aly had decided to not eat or drink just in case this happened. I believe my wife may literally carry on conversations with God.
The surgery will be 4-6 hours and Aly will be in the hospital for 3-4 days after surgery. The reason for the long stay is that they separate the muscle going from your shoulder down to your pelvis and they move it to create a healthy area for the expander and permanent implant to go. The only thing they do not cut is the blood vessels connected to that muscle. I believe the vein is called a thoracic vein (not sure) and what they will monitor so closely is to verify that the blood supply to the muscle and skin is not compromised.
Easiest way to tell you is draw a () that is 5 inches long, turn the point of that clockwise to 2 o'clock and that is the shape, size of skin they will move to cover the area that has failed. They will take that skin under the uncut skin and bring it back out at the breast and secure it to the other skin.
We are waiting right now for them to call her back to the OR. Take that back, we are now back here.
I will update later.
We spent about an hour talking through all the options of what to do and when to do it. The best they could come up with is to replace as much skin as they can with healthy skin and muscle from her back. The PA had just finished with all the paperwork and had left and then came back in and clarified that Aly had not had anything to eat or drink since midnight.
Aly had decided to not eat or drink just in case this happened. I believe my wife may literally carry on conversations with God.
The surgery will be 4-6 hours and Aly will be in the hospital for 3-4 days after surgery. The reason for the long stay is that they separate the muscle going from your shoulder down to your pelvis and they move it to create a healthy area for the expander and permanent implant to go. The only thing they do not cut is the blood vessels connected to that muscle. I believe the vein is called a thoracic vein (not sure) and what they will monitor so closely is to verify that the blood supply to the muscle and skin is not compromised.
Easiest way to tell you is draw a () that is 5 inches long, turn the point of that clockwise to 2 o'clock and that is the shape, size of skin they will move to cover the area that has failed. They will take that skin under the uncut skin and bring it back out at the breast and secure it to the other skin.
We are waiting right now for them to call her back to the OR. Take that back, we are now back here.
I will update later.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Heading back to Houston tonight...
Hey guys,
I wanted to keep you all updated on what is going on with me. So the skin that looked like it may be dying has continued to get worse. Today it looks like the expander is about to be exposed and my Physician's Assistant believes it will be exposed very soon, if not today.
So, we are heading to Houston tonight and will see her first thing in the morning. My plastic surgeon is out of town, but will be back tomorrow night. She is conferring with him so they can come up with a plan on what needs to be done to get me back healthy. It looks like I will have the back-flap surgery on Wednesday or Friday...just not sure what day just yet. I should find out tomorrow and I will let you all know.
I have been given much peace about the surgery and my whole situation. God has really worked on me emotionally this weekend and reminded me to trust him. I am thankful that he prevented this from happening during radiation, because my radiation would have been interrupted. I have wondered, why now? Because if something were to go wrong, it "should" have happened earlier, but I believe he was shielding me from interfering with radiation.
There are many benefits from the back flap surgery. My breast will look much more natural and the chances of long-term success with no complications are very, very high. I am not sure on this, but it looks like they will be doing final reconstruction on my right side. Because I was already fully expanded, they should be able to put in my final implant and I should be "done" on that side, so that is a plus. Had I not been fully expanded, they would need to put an expander with the back flap and then exchange it later. They may still need to do that, as I will gain more information tomorrow, but I think they will be able to go straight to an implant. So, if we go through with the back flap surgery on the right side this week, only one breast will be operated on come December or January, so that's a plus too.
We are choosing to see the positives in the this and trusting the Lord 100%. He sees the whole picture when I can see just what's ahead. I will not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough worries of its own!
Matt. 6: 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
When I had an ultrasound back in January and there was no change in the lymph node size, I was a little discouraged. One of my wonderful friends, Kelly, texted me that the end of my story is healed and whole. Even though that ultrasound wasn't the news I wanted to hear, I had to focus on the end of the story. That is what we are doing now. The end of my story is a cancer-free life and reconstructed breasts that look as close to my old self as possible. Thankful for people that remind me of this.
So, Josh and I are heading out tonight. Please pray for our minds to be guarded and for the Lord to give us peace and joy. Please pray for my doctor, Dr. Villa, and his P.A. Alisha as they discuss what is the best option for me. Please pray that my surgery is as painless as possible and I will have full strength in my back where that muscle is removed. Also, pray for a wonderful, long-lasting outcome!
I will update tomorrow as we know when surgery will be and what exactly will be done in surgery. Thank you all for praying. Oh, and here is a picture of what we came home to last week. This absolutely made our night. As we pulled up to our house, it was decorated with balloons and had a huge fruit basket waiting for us. The Remsbergs and the Borders welcomed us home with the biggest smiles on our faces. As we pulled up, Josh said, "We have the best friends ever." It's true! Here is a picture below:)
I wanted to keep you all updated on what is going on with me. So the skin that looked like it may be dying has continued to get worse. Today it looks like the expander is about to be exposed and my Physician's Assistant believes it will be exposed very soon, if not today.
So, we are heading to Houston tonight and will see her first thing in the morning. My plastic surgeon is out of town, but will be back tomorrow night. She is conferring with him so they can come up with a plan on what needs to be done to get me back healthy. It looks like I will have the back-flap surgery on Wednesday or Friday...just not sure what day just yet. I should find out tomorrow and I will let you all know.
I have been given much peace about the surgery and my whole situation. God has really worked on me emotionally this weekend and reminded me to trust him. I am thankful that he prevented this from happening during radiation, because my radiation would have been interrupted. I have wondered, why now? Because if something were to go wrong, it "should" have happened earlier, but I believe he was shielding me from interfering with radiation.
There are many benefits from the back flap surgery. My breast will look much more natural and the chances of long-term success with no complications are very, very high. I am not sure on this, but it looks like they will be doing final reconstruction on my right side. Because I was already fully expanded, they should be able to put in my final implant and I should be "done" on that side, so that is a plus. Had I not been fully expanded, they would need to put an expander with the back flap and then exchange it later. They may still need to do that, as I will gain more information tomorrow, but I think they will be able to go straight to an implant. So, if we go through with the back flap surgery on the right side this week, only one breast will be operated on come December or January, so that's a plus too.
We are choosing to see the positives in the this and trusting the Lord 100%. He sees the whole picture when I can see just what's ahead. I will not worry about tomorrow, for today has enough worries of its own!
Matt. 6: 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
When I had an ultrasound back in January and there was no change in the lymph node size, I was a little discouraged. One of my wonderful friends, Kelly, texted me that the end of my story is healed and whole. Even though that ultrasound wasn't the news I wanted to hear, I had to focus on the end of the story. That is what we are doing now. The end of my story is a cancer-free life and reconstructed breasts that look as close to my old self as possible. Thankful for people that remind me of this.
So, Josh and I are heading out tonight. Please pray for our minds to be guarded and for the Lord to give us peace and joy. Please pray for my doctor, Dr. Villa, and his P.A. Alisha as they discuss what is the best option for me. Please pray that my surgery is as painless as possible and I will have full strength in my back where that muscle is removed. Also, pray for a wonderful, long-lasting outcome!
I will update tomorrow as we know when surgery will be and what exactly will be done in surgery. Thank you all for praying. Oh, and here is a picture of what we came home to last week. This absolutely made our night. As we pulled up to our house, it was decorated with balloons and had a huge fruit basket waiting for us. The Remsbergs and the Borders welcomed us home with the biggest smiles on our faces. As we pulled up, Josh said, "We have the best friends ever." It's true! Here is a picture below:)
Friday, July 20, 2012
We're home! Well, sort of.
Yes, we are home and radiation is over. I am so, so thankful. My mom came in for my last treatment and we had a great time celebrating with the Stanfills. When I woke up the morning of my last treatment, I walked out of our bedroom to full-out celebration decor by Erin, Ms. Tammy, and my mom. They stayed up the night before and decorated everything for my last treatment. Even the outside of their house was completely decorate for me. We miss them so much already! We ate with the Stanfills after my last treatment and, as always had a wonderful visit. There is no way to repay them for all they have done for us!
Josh, my mom, and Erin came with me for my last treatment and it was great. Just like normal and then got to bring them all in to ring the bell. My radiation team was so sweet and one of them, Sally,wasn't even working on my last day, but came in to see me ring the bell. She brought her beautiful daughter, Natalia, with her and she was so sweet. I couldn't have asked for a better group taking care of me! When I expect myself to have emotion, I typically don't. I thought when I was done with treatment I would burst into tears, and I didn't. I guess when it's expected, it doesn't feel genuine to me. Then I will cry randomly in a doctor's office for a check-up! I just am sometimes surprised at my emotions:)
My skin from radiation is doing ok. When Dr. Storm saw me the last time, he said that my skin was at the peak of my response. The radiation did more to my skin than what he really wanted, but killing skin cells that deep means in theory killing any lingering cancer cells, which aren't even there in Jesus' name. All of my skin is beginning to peel which isn't the prettiest picture, but it is encouraging to see what skin lies beneath the ugliness- pretty, white, soft skin:) I'm feeling much better and I am still hopeful for healthy skin and tissue. It has been a great week back home as we are trying to adjust back to somewhat normal life. It has been weird, and then there are days where it has felt great. We are trying to somewhat "lay low" and seek God of how he wants us to do life now that we are here. He is revealing much to us, and we are thankful. We still need much prayer though. Thank you for the prayers--for both Josh and I.
The reason I wrote that we are home (sort of) is because we headed to Houston late on Wednesday night. I noticed a dry spot on my right breast, which is the side that wasn't radiated, and a scab came of a couple of days ago. I completely thought it was just dry skin. I showed it to Josh and he suggested I contact my doctor about it. Well, that led to emailing a picture, and them wanting me to come in and take a look. So, we got in Wednesday night around 1am to be there first thing this morning at 8. Yes, we are a little tired! Well, they looked at me Thursday morning and were concerned that my skin was under a lot of stress from the expander, which can sometimes lead to skin dying. If this becomes worrisome enough, it can lead to a removal of the expander, or a need to do an immediate back flap procedure. They are hopeful that it was either just a scratch or just a signal that my skin was under too much stress. They took out 100 cc's and wrote me prescription for a special cream that should help with the healing. I will be back next week for them to start expanding the left side and they can re-evaluate how it is looking then. We are praying and believing that I will heal up just fine, but still a little frustrating to be back in Houston so soon. I know God knows what He is doing! Trusting Him at all times. We cried some on Thursday just talking about how when life starts to feel a little normal, we have a hiccup. God has brought us through so much and we know He has us in his hands. Even though we are dealing with this issue, it isn't cancer-related, and for that I am grateful. I think it is harder on Josh because he just hates to see me have anything that is termed a "problem." I have to remember this is cosmetic and I know my beauty and worth is found in the Lord. I don't know if I have ever really grasped that or known what it meant until my body has been "deformed" after surgery and losing all of my hair on chemo. That can make you feel ugly if anything can! Until we find our beauty and worth in the Lord, we will never be satisfied with our beauty and bodies. These reconstruction issues will just be another hurdle we will have victory over!
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
Please continue to pray for us though. Sometimes I can really feel like a broken record, because I feel like I am always asking you guys to pray for something. I can feel redundant, and I wonder if those reading this, especially non-Christians are thinking, "Here she goes again, blah, blah, blah..." But I won't stop. This is what I have done since the beginning and we have seen the fruit of so many prayers. And, it's what God tells us to do. Please pray that we do not have to take my right expander out. Dr. Villa jokingly said that it would be a "reconstructive failure" if we had to do that and of course we don't want that. Please pray for my skin on the left side (radiated skin) that it will heal and be healthy. You all know I don't want to have to do the "back flap" procedure, so please pray I don't need to. Above all, pray that the reconstruction is the best it can be for me long term, even if that is the back flap. To look as closely to my old self, and above all healthy skin, with no complications- whatever procedure will need to be done. Please pray for Josh and I as we are figuring out our "new normal" and for my life-long healing! Praise the One from whom all blessings flow! I love the song ,"Bless the Lord, O my Soul"...especially the line that says "For your goodness I will keep on singing, 10,000 reasons for my heart to find." His goodness and blessings are all around me. I will not focus on the things that aren't good, but the things that are. And I know even the "bad" is not meant to harm me, but eventually for my good! I have so many reasons to sing and be glad!!
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
Romans 8:28
I will update next week after my Thursday doctor's appointment. Love you! Here are some pictures from my last and final treatment!!!!!! Praise Jesus!!!
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Josh, my mom, and Erin came with me for my last treatment and it was great. Just like normal and then got to bring them all in to ring the bell. My radiation team was so sweet and one of them, Sally,wasn't even working on my last day, but came in to see me ring the bell. She brought her beautiful daughter, Natalia, with her and she was so sweet. I couldn't have asked for a better group taking care of me! When I expect myself to have emotion, I typically don't. I thought when I was done with treatment I would burst into tears, and I didn't. I guess when it's expected, it doesn't feel genuine to me. Then I will cry randomly in a doctor's office for a check-up! I just am sometimes surprised at my emotions:)
My skin from radiation is doing ok. When Dr. Storm saw me the last time, he said that my skin was at the peak of my response. The radiation did more to my skin than what he really wanted, but killing skin cells that deep means in theory killing any lingering cancer cells, which aren't even there in Jesus' name. All of my skin is beginning to peel which isn't the prettiest picture, but it is encouraging to see what skin lies beneath the ugliness- pretty, white, soft skin:) I'm feeling much better and I am still hopeful for healthy skin and tissue. It has been a great week back home as we are trying to adjust back to somewhat normal life. It has been weird, and then there are days where it has felt great. We are trying to somewhat "lay low" and seek God of how he wants us to do life now that we are here. He is revealing much to us, and we are thankful. We still need much prayer though. Thank you for the prayers--for both Josh and I.
The reason I wrote that we are home (sort of) is because we headed to Houston late on Wednesday night. I noticed a dry spot on my right breast, which is the side that wasn't radiated, and a scab came of a couple of days ago. I completely thought it was just dry skin. I showed it to Josh and he suggested I contact my doctor about it. Well, that led to emailing a picture, and them wanting me to come in and take a look. So, we got in Wednesday night around 1am to be there first thing this morning at 8. Yes, we are a little tired! Well, they looked at me Thursday morning and were concerned that my skin was under a lot of stress from the expander, which can sometimes lead to skin dying. If this becomes worrisome enough, it can lead to a removal of the expander, or a need to do an immediate back flap procedure. They are hopeful that it was either just a scratch or just a signal that my skin was under too much stress. They took out 100 cc's and wrote me prescription for a special cream that should help with the healing. I will be back next week for them to start expanding the left side and they can re-evaluate how it is looking then. We are praying and believing that I will heal up just fine, but still a little frustrating to be back in Houston so soon. I know God knows what He is doing! Trusting Him at all times. We cried some on Thursday just talking about how when life starts to feel a little normal, we have a hiccup. God has brought us through so much and we know He has us in his hands. Even though we are dealing with this issue, it isn't cancer-related, and for that I am grateful. I think it is harder on Josh because he just hates to see me have anything that is termed a "problem." I have to remember this is cosmetic and I know my beauty and worth is found in the Lord. I don't know if I have ever really grasped that or known what it meant until my body has been "deformed" after surgery and losing all of my hair on chemo. That can make you feel ugly if anything can! Until we find our beauty and worth in the Lord, we will never be satisfied with our beauty and bodies. These reconstruction issues will just be another hurdle we will have victory over!
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
Please continue to pray for us though. Sometimes I can really feel like a broken record, because I feel like I am always asking you guys to pray for something. I can feel redundant, and I wonder if those reading this, especially non-Christians are thinking, "Here she goes again, blah, blah, blah..." But I won't stop. This is what I have done since the beginning and we have seen the fruit of so many prayers. And, it's what God tells us to do. Please pray that we do not have to take my right expander out. Dr. Villa jokingly said that it would be a "reconstructive failure" if we had to do that and of course we don't want that. Please pray for my skin on the left side (radiated skin) that it will heal and be healthy. You all know I don't want to have to do the "back flap" procedure, so please pray I don't need to. Above all, pray that the reconstruction is the best it can be for me long term, even if that is the back flap. To look as closely to my old self, and above all healthy skin, with no complications- whatever procedure will need to be done. Please pray for Josh and I as we are figuring out our "new normal" and for my life-long healing! Praise the One from whom all blessings flow! I love the song ,"Bless the Lord, O my Soul"...especially the line that says "For your goodness I will keep on singing, 10,000 reasons for my heart to find." His goodness and blessings are all around me. I will not focus on the things that aren't good, but the things that are. And I know even the "bad" is not meant to harm me, but eventually for my good! I have so many reasons to sing and be glad!!
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."
Romans 8:28
I will update next week after my Thursday doctor's appointment. Love you! Here are some pictures from my last and final treatment!!!!!! Praise Jesus!!!
This was sweet Erin hanging decorations for me to wake up to on the last radiation day!
All of us after I rang the bell:)
With my awesome radiation team: Andrew, Sally and Natalia, and Huma
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Just one of the many outside decorations on my last day:)!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I rang the bell on Thursday!!!
I will post a full blog in a few days, but wanted to post the video of me ringing the bell. The people in the background are my radiation team, Josh, my mom, and Erin (whom we've lived with for the past 6 weeks). I am DONE with cancer treatment. Praise the Lord!!
I love you all. Praise Jesus!
I love you all. Praise Jesus!
Monday, July 9, 2012
July 12th is in 3 days!!!
Wow, our last week in Houston is here. I knew these 6 weeks would go by fast, but wow, it really feels like we just got here. We have enjoyed Houston, the Stanfills, and just having quality time together here. We've grown to like Houston, but we are ready for family and friend time, no traffic, and we are ready to quit church hopping. It seems like we have been to a different church each week since we have been in and out of Houston. It has been great to experience other churches, but makes me so grateful for Family Church. Only 3 MORE TREATMENTS! My cancer treatment is coming to an end. A huge part of our journey is almost over. All glory to my healer and Savior, Jesus Christ.
The Lord is so good to me and just so amazingly faithful. We've had a great last week/weekend, and we have spent a lot of time with others which has been great. We have had dinner with the Stanfills several times and also gotten to see a few people who we haven't seen in a really long time! My cousin Josh works with his youth group at his church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Well, they were in Houston last week putting on VBS camps for kids in Houston. He asked me a few weeks back if I would be willing to speak to their youth group one night when they were in Houston, and I said, "Yes!" I've never spoken to a big group outside of a school setting, so I was very nervous, but it was a great experience. God has saved me and healed me for many reasons- some I will never know, but I do know that one of those reasons is for me to tell my story and share God's goodness and the miracle He has done in me. So, I am praying that doors continue to open to tell my story and give testimony of my healing.
Rev. 12:11 "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.
Speaking to his youth group went really well, and I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. The hardest part of all in telling my story is editing it. If I told of every amazing thing God has done to prepare us for this journey, as well as every amazing thing He has done along the way, I would speak for hours and hours and hours. So, it was greatly shaved down, and then we had a question and answer session that was really neat. My Josh helped me out tremendously and answered many of the questions that were directed toward him and our marriage. I pray that our story, even though ours has to do with cancer, can be relatable to so many regardless of their circumstances.To recount all God has done, and all we have been through is overwhelming. Not even so much in the sense of overwhelming of all we have been through, but all He has brought us through- THAT is overwhelming.
It was also great to see my cousin, Josh and get to spend some time with him. We don't get to see that side of the family too often since they live in New Mexico, so when we do, it definitely is a treat. My aunt and uncle from Albuquerque are coming to visit next week in Monroe so we are excited to see them too!
I also got together with a friend that I met during chemo this week. When I was in about my 5th week of chemo, I was coming back from an ultrasound, and I saw a girl who had her scarf tied really cute around her head, and I asked her about it. That brought about more conversation and we got to know each other throughout our treatment process. She was stage 1 and had a terrible time with the chemo. We would get chemo on the same days and saw each other often. She had a unilateral mastectomy and we have kept in touch, as she was a little ahead of me. She is due to have her reconstruction on the 16th of July. Irena is so great, and we had a wonderful lunch together. Josh came and joined us at the end of our lunch, and Josh and I had a good talk afterwards. He just brought to my attention the bond that breast cancer survivors have that is just so special. He said that it is so neat to see two people at completely different stages of life and feel so connected. If someone was not "versed" in breast cancer language, they would have no idea of most of our lunch conversation. She just turned 40 and also has Dr. Litton as her oncologist. Since Dr. Litton specializes in young breast cancer, it is really neat to find other young breast cancer survivors, and even more neat to have the same oncologist. Because Irena didn't have to have radiation, she is almost done with everything! I am so thrilled for her and I definitely have made a life-long friend.
We also got together on Friday with Brandie and Mark. I wrote about Brandie a while back. She and her husband were following our blog and stopped us in the MDA waiting room a few months ago, as they recognized us from the blog. She is also triple negative for hormones and was 36 when diagnosed. She was 9 months pregnant and had a c-section to have her baby so they could start chemo immediately. She also has a two-year-old little boy. They are so sweet and down-to-earth. She is on the same regimen of treatment as me, although I don't think she will have to have radiation. She was diagnosed at Stage2A and just started her first FAC treatment. She was just starting to feel a little better as the first week on FAC was coming to an end, but it was so great to see them. Her 3 month old baby girl, Virginia, was able to come too. Although I have gotten to know several other breast cancer survivors and those undergoing treatment, I haven't had much involvement with anyone else that is triple negative, so that is a major blessing. We had a great lunch with them all and it is like watching myself just a few short months ago. One again, our talk about breasts, wigs, scarves, symptoms, fears... those conversations are pretty invaluable. We also share stories of amazing things people have said to us, as well as terrible things people have said to us. Brandie shared a top 10 list of things to never say to a breast cancer patient- so true and funny to say the least. I pray that her seeing me with my hair growing back and God's healing in my life brings her encouragement and leads her to even more fully rely on the Lord. So thankful for others like Brandie and Mark.
I remember when I was first diagnosed, I talked to Ms. Joy Macmahan, who is a 5 year + breast cancer survivor. I believe it was the day after I was diagnosed, and she said, "Well, you have just become the member of a new family. I know it was a family that you would never want to be a part of, but you are in a family." That is so true of breast cancer survivors. I have felt that this week, and I know as I meet and get to know others, it will be even more true.
We also had a great weekend in Lake Charles this past weekend with our friends, Kase and Kelly Gonzales. We mostly just hung out and laid low, which was so great to do. There aren't many people that you can just sit around with and enjoy your time so much, but we can with the Gonzales'. They are so special to us, and we had a wonderful time with them this weekend, seeing some of where they have been over the past year. Kelly is such a special friend to me and was one of my first friends I made when I went to LSU during undergrad. Her phone calls during my treatment and even now are LIFE to me. I love her with all my heart! I am so blessed with many friends, but I have a small group that are what I believe God wants friendship to look like. I am reminded constantly that I am in the minority with such amazing, Godly friends. These last 9 months would have looked and felt so different without them. So, to get to spend an entire weekend with one of them- perfection!
My skin is suffering quite a bit, but I am still having faith it will be healthy once all this is over. I have little blisters in some spots, which is quite uncomfortable, but just part of it! Please pray that my skin will recover to complete health and that I will not have discomfort, pain, or irritation. I know that if I ask for anything, and believe I have received it, it will be mine. I am strong!
Joel 3:10 "Let the weak say I am strong."
Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."
The Lord is so good to me and just so amazingly faithful. We've had a great last week/weekend, and we have spent a lot of time with others which has been great. We have had dinner with the Stanfills several times and also gotten to see a few people who we haven't seen in a really long time! My cousin Josh works with his youth group at his church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Well, they were in Houston last week putting on VBS camps for kids in Houston. He asked me a few weeks back if I would be willing to speak to their youth group one night when they were in Houston, and I said, "Yes!" I've never spoken to a big group outside of a school setting, so I was very nervous, but it was a great experience. God has saved me and healed me for many reasons- some I will never know, but I do know that one of those reasons is for me to tell my story and share God's goodness and the miracle He has done in me. So, I am praying that doors continue to open to tell my story and give testimony of my healing.
Rev. 12:11 "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.
Speaking to his youth group went really well, and I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. The hardest part of all in telling my story is editing it. If I told of every amazing thing God has done to prepare us for this journey, as well as every amazing thing He has done along the way, I would speak for hours and hours and hours. So, it was greatly shaved down, and then we had a question and answer session that was really neat. My Josh helped me out tremendously and answered many of the questions that were directed toward him and our marriage. I pray that our story, even though ours has to do with cancer, can be relatable to so many regardless of their circumstances.To recount all God has done, and all we have been through is overwhelming. Not even so much in the sense of overwhelming of all we have been through, but all He has brought us through- THAT is overwhelming.
It was also great to see my cousin, Josh and get to spend some time with him. We don't get to see that side of the family too often since they live in New Mexico, so when we do, it definitely is a treat. My aunt and uncle from Albuquerque are coming to visit next week in Monroe so we are excited to see them too!
I also got together with a friend that I met during chemo this week. When I was in about my 5th week of chemo, I was coming back from an ultrasound, and I saw a girl who had her scarf tied really cute around her head, and I asked her about it. That brought about more conversation and we got to know each other throughout our treatment process. She was stage 1 and had a terrible time with the chemo. We would get chemo on the same days and saw each other often. She had a unilateral mastectomy and we have kept in touch, as she was a little ahead of me. She is due to have her reconstruction on the 16th of July. Irena is so great, and we had a wonderful lunch together. Josh came and joined us at the end of our lunch, and Josh and I had a good talk afterwards. He just brought to my attention the bond that breast cancer survivors have that is just so special. He said that it is so neat to see two people at completely different stages of life and feel so connected. If someone was not "versed" in breast cancer language, they would have no idea of most of our lunch conversation. She just turned 40 and also has Dr. Litton as her oncologist. Since Dr. Litton specializes in young breast cancer, it is really neat to find other young breast cancer survivors, and even more neat to have the same oncologist. Because Irena didn't have to have radiation, she is almost done with everything! I am so thrilled for her and I definitely have made a life-long friend.
We also got together on Friday with Brandie and Mark. I wrote about Brandie a while back. She and her husband were following our blog and stopped us in the MDA waiting room a few months ago, as they recognized us from the blog. She is also triple negative for hormones and was 36 when diagnosed. She was 9 months pregnant and had a c-section to have her baby so they could start chemo immediately. She also has a two-year-old little boy. They are so sweet and down-to-earth. She is on the same regimen of treatment as me, although I don't think she will have to have radiation. She was diagnosed at Stage2A and just started her first FAC treatment. She was just starting to feel a little better as the first week on FAC was coming to an end, but it was so great to see them. Her 3 month old baby girl, Virginia, was able to come too. Although I have gotten to know several other breast cancer survivors and those undergoing treatment, I haven't had much involvement with anyone else that is triple negative, so that is a major blessing. We had a great lunch with them all and it is like watching myself just a few short months ago. One again, our talk about breasts, wigs, scarves, symptoms, fears... those conversations are pretty invaluable. We also share stories of amazing things people have said to us, as well as terrible things people have said to us. Brandie shared a top 10 list of things to never say to a breast cancer patient- so true and funny to say the least. I pray that her seeing me with my hair growing back and God's healing in my life brings her encouragement and leads her to even more fully rely on the Lord. So thankful for others like Brandie and Mark.
I remember when I was first diagnosed, I talked to Ms. Joy Macmahan, who is a 5 year + breast cancer survivor. I believe it was the day after I was diagnosed, and she said, "Well, you have just become the member of a new family. I know it was a family that you would never want to be a part of, but you are in a family." That is so true of breast cancer survivors. I have felt that this week, and I know as I meet and get to know others, it will be even more true.
We also had a great weekend in Lake Charles this past weekend with our friends, Kase and Kelly Gonzales. We mostly just hung out and laid low, which was so great to do. There aren't many people that you can just sit around with and enjoy your time so much, but we can with the Gonzales'. They are so special to us, and we had a wonderful time with them this weekend, seeing some of where they have been over the past year. Kelly is such a special friend to me and was one of my first friends I made when I went to LSU during undergrad. Her phone calls during my treatment and even now are LIFE to me. I love her with all my heart! I am so blessed with many friends, but I have a small group that are what I believe God wants friendship to look like. I am reminded constantly that I am in the minority with such amazing, Godly friends. These last 9 months would have looked and felt so different without them. So, to get to spend an entire weekend with one of them- perfection!
My skin is suffering quite a bit, but I am still having faith it will be healthy once all this is over. I have little blisters in some spots, which is quite uncomfortable, but just part of it! Please pray that my skin will recover to complete health and that I will not have discomfort, pain, or irritation. I know that if I ask for anything, and believe I have received it, it will be mine. I am strong!
Joel 3:10 "Let the weak say I am strong."
Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."
Josh and I have talked much over the last past week of how things will and must be different when we are back home. Dr. Litton has told me and the other young ladies to continue doing what we were doing when we were on treatment, because we did so well. Well, I worked part-time, wasn't in class as much, ate very healthy, and rested alot. In August, I will start back school and work, and I am somewhat nervous. School will be 2 days a week, but work will be each day. I am trying to find a balance, and I really need prayer concerning it. We not only want to spend our time differently for spiritual purposes, but I want so much about my life to be different. I truly believe that nothing I "did" caused cancer, but I do not think it would be wise to go back to doing everything I did "pre-cancer"--Which is why I have changed my diet, and I know I need to change much of my lifestyle. I have always been a very laid back person and would not consider myself "stressed" by any means. There is much research that shows being stressed or leading a stressed lifestyle can contribute to breast cancer and/or reoccurrence, so I of course will be trying to eliminate stress. I'm still not sure what that looks like. I am praying that the Lord will show me what that balance is. One thing we know and have committed to is that things will look different for me and for us. I am thankful the Lord has opened my eyes up to these changes, and I am trusting He shows me how to make them. Please pray that God will direct me as I change much about how I live my life. Here are some pictures from last week. The next time I write, I will be done with treatment!! All glory to God!!!!
Dinner with the Stanfills
Holding sweet Virginia at lunch with Brandie and Mark
Me and Irena
Me and my Kel
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