The first post from a 25 year old!

Yes, that's right, I'm 25! I had such a wonderful birthday. On Friday, after treatment I went back to the Stanfill's and took a nap. I wake up to hearing Josh say my name, and I see two of my best friends standing over me! Margot and Ainsley were there looking beautiful, surprising me for me birthday. Of course, I was freaking out and then I had to open my card. My card said to immediately get packed because we were going to San Antonio and Sea World!! I was so excited!!! We immediately got packed and headed out. We ate at the river walk that night and went to Sea World early the next morning. We had a great day going to the shows and seeing all the animals. I wished we could have gone to the waterpark, but I couldn't because of my marks washing off:( But, we still had a wonderful time. We went out to a great italian restaurant that night and celebrated once again! We woke up on Sunday, went to church, and headed back to the Stanfill Suites. We went to the movies and ate again on Sunday, so needless to say, I was spoiled with lots of time with 2 of my best friends. Even though we have seen a lot of each other over the last months (since they have been there for absolutely everything- 1st doc visits, last chemo, surgery, coming and visiting me), we haven't spent much quality time because I typically wasn't feeling my best, so it was wonderful to be feeling good and laughing with the greatest friends. I have THE best friends in the whole entire world.

Proverbs 17:17 "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need."

My husband of course made all of that possible, and he was so great to me. I felt so, so spoiled. We got another flat tire on Friday! 2 flat tires in a week's time- a little bit of bad luck, huh? A nail in the tire, in 2 different vehicles! Thankful we got it changed and were able to drive to San Antonio.

This week has been good so far and fairly uneventful. I had my class again yesterday, and it went well. It really is neat to see my classmates and Dr. Ray, 6 hours away. I have the best classmates ever. One of my friends, Lauren Fix, is such an amazing friend. She is so dependable and loyal, and I want to be more like her in so many ways. I got my birthday present in the mail from her- a book full of pictures throughout my time at the MFT program, filled not only with pictures but notes from the whole MFT program and scriptures throughout. She is the absolute best. Her mom recently fought breast cancer and won, so she is a support in school and in my life in so many ways, and the rest of my PhD class is so amazing and supportive as well. That book was just so special.

Also, today after my radiation treatment, my team (Andrew, Sally, and Huma) asked me to get dressed and come back out because they had a birthday present for me. At first, I thought they were joking, and then I realized they were completely serious. I got dressed and they were holding a big gift bag. I opened it and it was a beautiful bag/purse and scarf. They said they went to Target on their lunch break one day and picked it out for me- is that not the sweetest thing ever? They are the absolute best. They are genuinely sweet people, and I am so thankful to have them working on me. I can't imagine doing what they do each day and how draining that must be, and for them to take time out of their day for little ole' me is so kind. It made my day today. They also have given me ideas for things to do in Houston and are so gracious as I ask questions during my treatments.

One of those suggestions they gave us was to go to Galveston and the Kemah area. That is what we are doing this weekend. The Summers (whom we stayed with during the time my white count was low) have invited us to spend the weekend with them on the beach in Galveston. We are excited to get a mini-vacation this weekend. They are so sweet and generous to us, and we are looking forward to spending some time in Galveston and Kemah. We cruised out of Galveston on our honeymoon 6 years ago, but we didn't spend much time there, so it will be fun! So thankful we are enjoying our time here as much as possible, but I am missing home!

I really do miss home, but I told Josh this past week- he is where my home is. I know that sounds SO cheesy, but it is true. Yes, I miss my house, my family, my friends, my bed, my sweet dog, but my heart is at rest when I am with Josh. We could be on the other side of the world, but when I am with him, I am at rest. God has truly molded us together as one.

Soon, my mom will come visit and we are hoping to come home next weekend. 2 weeks down- 4 to go!! I completed my 11th treatment today and have 18 more:)

Oh and I met with Dr. Strom this week and I am having a slight skin reaction. He noticed some redness, but that is what he wants to see. Please continue praying that he gets the skin reaction he needs, but that it stays healthy. To know that you all haven't forgotten about me has meant so much. I've heard from so many that the hardest times can be at the end of treatment or when treatment is over. I am by no means anticipating that for me, but it does give me much to pray for. Thank you for loving us. My last treatment is July 12th..less than a month away:)

At my birthday dinner with my awesome man!

On the Riverwalk with my amazing friends, Ains and Marg.

This is a page in the book that my friend, Lauren put together for me. It is so, so sweet.

And this is the bag and scarf that my radiation team got for me- isn't it the cutest?!

Signed by my awesome team...

Josh once again changing out our tire..such a good sport

Love you all.. will update again next week. God is taking care of me here in Houston, but I miss you all!

6 down...24 to go!

          Well, I have completed 6 radiation treatments, and I have 24 to go!!!! It has been a great week, all in all. I ended up officially starting my radiation on Thursday, May 31st. I had a test run on Wednesday and they took X-rays of me. After they did my X-rays on Wednesday, they explained they wanted to wait until Thursday to start radiation. The radiation went great and I didn't feel anything. Once again, the fears that can slip in my mind are endless. My mind started to wonder if they saw something in the X-ray when they decided to start on Thursday instead of Wednesday, but it was simply to just give them more time to set everything up. It's crazy how if one thing goes off schedule or not as planned, you can start to worry, but as I said in the last post, I stand firm in my faith, but it can be scary! Once again, how can people go through things like this without the Lord? It literally makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it. He is my rock.

Psalm 18:2
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my ROCK, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety."


        Radiation has gone really well. I really love the team that is working on me. Huma, Andrew, and Sally are really great. Each day they lay me on a table and line me up to the radiation lasers. They mark me up with markers that help with lining me up each day. I really haven't felt anything while I'm being radiated. I have to hold my breath for long periods of time, which is hard, but other than that, it is pretty easy. Every other day, they put this stuff on my skin that apparently acts as another layer of skin, which helps the radiation to be stronger. The people working with me come in and out and move my body in certain positions, as well as put different extensions on the machine. They are so, so nice. Music plays while I lay there holding my breath, so they make it as enjoyable as possible. They asked me if I was as swimmer because I could hold my breath so long! I was not, but I could always hold my breath under water a long time:)

         This summer is the summer of scarves, because my markers cannot be covered by clothing, unless I wear a turtleneck, which is not happening in this Houston summmer! So, I wear scarves with everything! I have to thank Stephanie Noland and all of those that prayed my hair would grow fast- God has answered with a big "yes!" Everyone at MDA is so impressed with my hair growth. I thought it was growing slowly, but I sit with ladies who finished chemo in January and their hair is a lot shorter than mine! So that is definitely exciting. I still do not feel like myself with this short hair, but I am trying to embrace it while it's like this.

         At the beginning, when we got down here, I felt lonely at times, but God is teaching me so many lessons, and I am doing much better now. We went to church Saturday night, and the sermon topic was on loneliness...I just laughed and smiled to myself. The pastor spoke about Paul and the loneliness he experienced in prison and what is required to not feel lonely. It really spoke to me and one of the things was of course companionship. Even though we are far from home, we have each other, the Stanfill's, and others that we can choose to spend time with. One of my friends from high school, Pam Inman, and her mom, Ms. Inman ate lunch with us on Monday in Houston. We had such a wonderful time, and it was great to visit with them. We also ate with Ms. Roseann and Mr. Clint Summers today for lunch, who was a couple that opened their home to us when I couldn't get chemo because of my low white count in December. It was so wonderful to see them and visit with them at lunch today. I love to be alone, but I also know we are made to be around others too. I am learning that balance. I am so thankful for great friends like the Inmans and the Summers. When I am home, I am somewhat "forced" to be around others (job and school) and then "forced" at times to be alone, but it isn't until you have that downtime when you can truly choose how to spend your time. Time is so precious! Spend your time wisely... I know that this whole process has definitely made me re-evaluate how I spend my time.

      I haven't been feeling tired, and I have no visible skin reaction thus far. A few weeks ago, I had a consult with a doctor nutritionist that recommended I do a 2 day detox. I finished that yesterday, and I am so glad that's over! Josh did the first day with me, and he felt so terrible, he couldn't do the second day... I'm glad that I did it, but I felt terrible yesterday...just part of it! We are staying with the Stanfills, and as their brother-in-law called their house, "Stanfill Suites." It has been great staying with them and spending time with them. Josh has been wonderful and so helpful to me. He has helped me with juicing, as we have done so much of that since I have finished chemo. If you remember, I was told to not juice during chemo because the antioxidants in the juice could actually counteract the chemo. But I was encouraged to do it after I finished chemo, so I have been drinking tons of juice! Ms. Renea had been juicing for me, which was a major blessing, and now we are taking it on. She would bring me juice each morning, and I was so very spoiled!! With as much as I am juicing, it can be quite the task to get done, and I am so thankful for Ms. Renea and Josh who have juiced so much for me! Josh also drives me to radiation each day which is such a blessing. The traffic can get crazy, and he likes to drive in it! So he drives me each morning and helps me with everything-- literally everything. On our way down to Houston, my car got a flat tire and he changed that for me- literally, he does everything! We went to Lafayette last weekend for a special family friends' graduation, and he drove the whole way there too. We enjoyed getting to see some of our friends that I had not seen in a very long time...some since we moved from Lafayette 13 years ago. So that was great. Now, I will enjoy not traveling for a little while.

        My birthday is Saturday!!! I can't believe I will be 25. I am so grateful for another year! I never thought I would be praying and hoping I would be alive at this point in my life, but many prayers of that nature have been prayed! I know the Lord will satisfy me with long life and this birthday is just the start of many, many more birthdays. Not sure what we will do on Saturday, but we will definitely be celebrating! Josh and I are realizing how quickly these next 5 weeks will go by. By the time I get done with radiation and we get something for lunch and get back to the Stanfill's, it is at least 1 o'clock. Then if I work out or work on my dissertation, it is 5 o clock so fast! So, God is definitely having the time go by fast, but we want to make sure we take advantage of this time by spending time with Him and just being still and resting in the Lord's presence.

And He said, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 33:14

      I got my last expansion today on my right side! 75 more cc's. I am hurting in my chest and back, but it is much better than it has been before. Most of all, I was so happy at Dr. Villa and Alisha's response to the way I looked! They both said I looked awesome! He was super pleased of how my skin was looking on my left side too. So, so thankful for that. Please pray that my skin continues to look good and be healthy. If this happens, they can start expanding on the left 2 weeks after radiation. I am praying and believing that will happen.

       Oh, and I got the results for my last genetic test, the P 53 test, NEGATIVE!!! I was absolutely thrilled at this news. The genetic counselor is so sweet. Every time she calls she asks how I am and catches up with me- so sweet, but I'm thinking,"just tell me the results!" So after some small talk, she said she had some good news. She told me the P 53 was negative and told me what I have known- there is no genetic link for why I got breast cancer at 24. She said my sister and mom don't have a need to get tested genetically, outside of close monitoring and mammograms. Also, my daughters would need to get really early mammograms, but there is no known genetic link! When I was first diagnosed, I remember thinking that it would be good if I found out I was positive for the genetic mutation, then I would know why I got cancer- I am so thankful God knew better than me! Having that mutation would possibly having many negative implications, and this just furthers my belief that God simply supernaturally allowed me to go through this for the furtherance of His kingdom!! A big weight is off of me! But, honestly, I really haven't worried about it. I have just known it would be negative. We have waited over 7 months to knock out all genetic links and now we know!


Psalm 40
"I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed.They will put their trust in the Lord. Oh, the joys of those who trust the Lord, who have no confidence in the proud, or in those who worship idols."


We miss our family and friends very much, but are so thankful to our God that this is the last course of treatment for me! We have so much to be happy about! Please feel free to call or email me, as I have some  free time. My Skype username is alyptaylor if any of you want to Skype. Thank you for continuing to pray for continual healing, wonderful radiation outcome, and healthy skin! Here are some pics from the last week.

Enjoying a night of downtime at the Stanfill Suites:)

 So thankful for my hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows! They are all coming in fast!! Thank you Lord!

This is just a little picture of some of my markers. They start at my collar bone and go all the way down to my belly button.

This was my handy man changing out my tire!

Love you all!

Radiation begins tomorrow!

So, the simulation went great! It really didn't hurt very badly, and I was able to get my arm in the position they needed me to get in for the simulation. My left arm is bent and goes behind my head into a mold that they made for me. My entire left side of my chest, ribs, and collar bone is marked up with different color sharpies that helps guide the radiation. You have to be very careful to not wash  off the markers, and I was given strict orders to try my best to keep it all on. This is very difficult! I got marked up on Thursday and the next time I will get marked again is on Wednesday. This means no baths and when I take showers, I have to make sure I don't turn forward very much- crazy huh? They will re-mark me every day, so the toughest time to not wash off is on the weekends, and in my case, it just happens to be extra long because of the memorial weekend holiday.

Thank you all for praying that the simulation would go well and that it actually happened! Like I said, Dr. Strom was not thrilled with my movement and did not give me completely confidence that we would be able to go through with the simulation, but we did and everything went great. I stretched out my arm a ton before the simulation, and that seemed to help too. So, I start radiation tomorrow at 5:45p.m. We will leave tomorrow morning and will be in Houston until July 11th. Josh will come home a few times and I will probably come home a weekend or two, but no schedule on that..just kind of playing it by ear.

Still, no sign of lymphedema.. praise the Lord. Please keep praying I don't develop that. We also have a whole new list of prayer concerns with radiation starting tomorrow. It is pretty scary as they go through everything that "could" and some things that "probably will" happen during radiation. They are radiating my left side and of course, my heart is close by my chest on that side as well as my lung. There is always a chance that these can be radiated, along with my esophagus. So, there are risks there...please pray the laser beam touches only the places that it needs to touch! When they radiate a certain part close to my heart, I have to hold my breath for a certain time period that literally gets my heart out of the way of the radiation beam. It is amazing all that they can do, but kind of freaky too. Just for my simulation, there were like 10 people in there setting me up. At one point, the robe fell off of my right side and revealed my right breast and a technician said, "oh, we're going to try and keep you modest"...haha... that's hilarious....at this point, I feel like everyone and their momma has seen me!! I just laughed to myself, but of course he was just trying to make me feel better.

The radiation itself should only last between 10-20 minutes, but the entire set up start to finish, should last between 30-45 minutes. Once a week, I will meet with my doctor, and he will look at my skin and assess what all has been done. Dr. Strom is so nice... it is almost hard to take him seriously, because he is just so nice. He definitely makes you feel very taken care of, and he is very confident in what he does. We also have some friends that have used Dr. Strom, and they have been very pleased with his work.

So, other than the beam hitting parts of my body that we don't want it to, there are 2 main side effects from the radiation- fatigue and skin reactions. I praying that I will have little to no fatigue and no skin damage. Dr. Strom has said that he wants to see a skin reaction to show that the radiation is indeed killing cells, but I am praying so very hard that my skin does not become damaged irreversibly. To remind you all, this will all play a part in my final reconstruction. If my skin reacts well (which they are anticipation it won't, because it typically doesn't) they will just exchange my tissue expanders for permanent implants. This surgery and recovery is said to not be very bad, because you have already gone through the painful part with the expansion; however, if my skin reacts as they think it will, my skin will not be healthy enough to hold an implant; therefore, they will do what is called a "lat flap" in which they rotate my back muscle forward to get healthy tissue to hold the implant. I've heard some horror stories about this, and I believe it is a minimum 5 day hospital stay. I want whatever is supposed to happen, but I also know that I can pray about anything, so I am praying!!! Please pray with me about this. Obviously, this is strictly cosmetic and has nothing to do with "cancer" per se, so in the realm of things, it is small, but it will be another big surgery if it has to happen. As we have all seen, nothing is impossible for God! Please remember I was told that during chemo I would feel deathly ill, gain weight, and have acne. I was also told that theultrasounds still showed abnormal, cancerous looking lymph nodes and that it would be rare that my pathology would come back clean....BUT I rarely felt sick, no weight gain, no acne, and cancer-free pathology!!! I am continually in awe of my father.

I am by no means comparing myself to Mary or Elizabeth, but over these last almost 8 months, I have found myself relating with them. With Elizabeth because she was told she could not have children, and with Mary, as a young girl who had to trust God completely when she was so scared. 


Luke 1: 36- 38 "What's more, your relative Elizabeth has become pregnant in her old age! People used to say she was barren, but she's already in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God." Mary responded, "I am the Lord's servant, and I am willing to accept whatever he wants. May everything you have said come true." And then the angel left."
 Nothing is impossible with God. ---It's one thing to say it and believe it-- a complete other thing to have it happen in you and in your body. God is so worthy to be praised and his miracles are everywhere and available to us. We must believe.

Josh took out my final drain on Saturday..it didn't hurt at all, and he did a great job. I feel free!!! The timing worked out so well. They are all out right before radiation, which is what needed to happen. God is so good to me. I've heard of people who had drains taken out too early and then had fluid and swelling in their arms. With having my drains in so long, I know that the chance of extra fluid build up in low. So thankful to have a conservative plastic surgeon in Dr. Villa.

I only have one more expansion on my right breast, and then I am done expanding on that side. I have had pain in my back and chest this week from the expansion last week, so I am going to wait until next week to get my final expansion. With me being at MDA every day, I can pretty much pick and choose when to get expanded since I am there, so that is great:) Please continue to pray that the pain in my chest and back will cease.

I will be at MDA each morning for 6 weeks to get my radiation. 5 days a week for 6 weeks. We are so blessed to be staying at the Stanfills for 6 weeks. They literally have become our second family and home. This process would be so much different if we were staying at a hotel or an apartment for 6 weeks. So thankful.

So it is Tuesday around lunch, and I have so much more to do today: get dissertation stuff together, PACK, finish washing clothes, tidy up house, pick up GA check, pay ULM parking fee, return things to target, pick up water, pay bills, send off cards, get stamps, clean out garage, learn how to juice, return some things to just like you, drop off Josh to pick up vehicle, clean out car, call some clients...and much more! :)Thankfully, I have a bunch of energy today!! Ready for today and thankful to be able to get all of these things done before I leave. Below are some pics of what radiation will look like and my last drain taken out!

This is what I am laying on and will go through for the radiation. The blue looking pillow was the thing I laid on and the air was taken out of it to create a mold for me to lay on.

This was after my last drain was taken out! Thank you Jesus! 

I will continue to update at least weekly and post some pictures of us here in Houston. I'm starting the last phase of my cancer treatment, forever! Thank you Jesus- my healer, my provider, my comforter!

Radiation is 1 week away!!!

Hey guys,

It feels like a while since I have updated you all, although it has only been a week. Last Tuesday, my mom drove me down to Houston to get expanded and to possibly get some drains out. Well, I still had the last 2 drains in until this morning, and I got expanded a 100 cc's last week. We met with Dr. Villa, and his P.A. Alisha, who I like so much. I got one of my drains out today though! I still have one left that should come out this weekend. Josh will actually be able to take it out. He watched the P.A. today, and she showed him how to do it! It will be so wonderful when these drains are out. It will be nice not having 2 large balloons on my stomach:)

The expansions last week- oh my goodness- it hurt so badly! At the time I got expanded, my chest just felt really tight, but as we left, the pain really set in. The pain was so tight in my chest. The expander is placed behind my chest muscle so, when it gets filled up, my muscle is being moved. So, my chest hurts really badly, but my back is the main thing that has just throbbed and throbbed. We got in the car to head home last week and I started to feel so nauseous. I ended up throwing up and was just in a lot of pain. I felt much better after I threw up.. I think it was just the extreme pain in my back with the combination of the car ride...ooo, it was terrible. My mom gave me a good back massage, which made me feel much better. It wasn't until about Friday of last week that my back and chest really started to feel better. I got a professional massage on Saturday and that was amazing. My chest is just still so sore and tight.

Today marks a month since my surgery. That is hard to believe. I, of course feel much better than I did a month ago, but I continue to be amazed at how much further I have to go to feel normal. The littlest thing like a sneeze or cough can bring me to tears as my chest expands. I am just trying to take it day by day and I know in a year's time, all of this will seem like a memory from long ago:)

Josh and I headed to Houston yesterday for appointments that I had today and will have tomorrow. I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon this morning, where they expanded my right breast and deflated my left, since they need a flat surface for radiation. After that, we walked outside, grabbed some lunch, then headed over to meet with my radiation doctor, Dr. Strom. In that meeting, we discussed what all will happen in radiation and he answered any questions we had. Tomorrow, I have an appointment that is a simulation. They will mark me with special paint to guide the radiation beams, as well as make a "custom-made bean bag" that my arm and neck with rest on as I will be in somewhat of an odd position during radiation. I have to have my arm up so they can radiate under my armpit, and it is oh so hard to hold it up. According to how well I do in the simulation tomorrow, we will schedule my radiation( hopefully to begin next week). Dr. Strom didn't seem very pleased about my range of motion, but he also didn't sound like it was too terrible...so hopefully we will be able to do simulation tomorrow and start radiation next week. Above all, we want to do the radiation when it is best for my body and life-long health.
Many people have asked me why I am having radiation when my pathology came back clear. Well, it is strictly to make sure that every cancer cell is killed so that my chances of reoccurrence are as low as possible. There is always a chance that a single cancer cell is still hanging out in my chest area, and even though that chance is small with my awesome pathology results, the radiation is just there for being extra careful. Taking my age and stage of cancer initially into consideration, the doctors recommend doing the full course of treatment to make sure I live a very, very long time....yes, please!
"The Lord says, "I will rescue those who love me. I will protect those who know my name. When they call on me, I will answer them. I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life, and give them salvation." Psalm 91: 14-16
So, if things go well tomorrow, I should start radiation next week. I am ready for this next adventure. 6 weeks seems like a long time, but I really feel like it will go by quickly. Please if you come to the Houston area this summer, contact me!!! I would love to grab lunch or hang out with any of you! So thankful and excited to be staying at the Stanfills. They are the absolute best and the biggest blessing to Josh and me.

My emotions have been pretty crazy over this last week. When my back is hurting or my chest is hurting, fears can creep up. Then the next day, God reminds me of my complete healing, and then I feel bad for ever doubting. My poor husband probably feels like he lives with someone with multiple personalities! I am reminded that when my head doubts or worries, my heart stays the same. God's voice is way louder than the devil's who tries to kill and destroy me at every chance. But God has chosen to give me life- abundant life. That is the voice that is louder above all others. I am healed, I am whole!!! Affliction will not rise up a second time. I believe, claim and confess this over and over.


As of right now, my back is still feeling much better. After being deflated on my left side today, I have felt much relief. So one more weekend in West Monroe, as we head back after my hopeful simulation tomorrow. So grateful to start the last step of my treatment...what God has started in me, He will complete. So thankful for all of you who have taught me to trust in God's word. Many of us do not know God's will...I of course do not. But this is what I do know..His word is His will, so I can rest assured that what He says, He wills to do. So, I do not question His word, wondering if it is God's will "for me." I know His word is His will, and I do not have to wonder about that. Thank you Jesus! Many of His promises are conditional, and I must do my part for them to come to pass. What a challenge...but here I am, taking it head on, today and every day! Love you!!!

Expansions and Drains, Expansions and Drains!!

Yes, my life is revolving around expansions and drains! We will head to Houston this afternoon for an appointment tomorrow morning. I should get expanded again, and possibly some drains out, although from my measurements, it may be a while more on these drains. The good news is that I got out 2 drains last week! One of my drains stopped working and another was draining the required amount, so I got out 2! I now just have 2 drains left- One on the right and one on the left. Although, I have gotten more used to them now, I am ready for them to be out! They pull and aggravate my skin, and of course concealing them under clothing is near to impossible. But, I assume they will be out by next week! That is what I am praying and hoping for.

Last Thursday, I also got expanded another 75 cc's. This time really hurt after I got expanded...it literally feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. My back hurt extremely bad after the expansion, although it is much, much better. Please pray for my chest and back to be as free from pain as possible! Tomorrow, I will get expanded again and am praying that my back and chest do not hurt as bad as last week. Thank goodness for prayer, heating pads, and advil!:)

My mom is taking me down to Houston today and took me down last week, so that Josh could stay and get some work done. Please pray that God will continue to provide for us and help us as we transition back into "normal" life. We have tried our best to keep our lives as normal as possible, but it is an adjustment to try to go back to "normal", even though life will never be quite "normal" again. We are seeking God for guidance in our work and school and that he would give us the strength and endurance we need to do what he would have us do. We know He has great plans for us. We want to be good stewards of all He has done for us.

We had a great mother's day yesterday with our moms. We have both been blessed with wonderful mothers and God was so good to me yesterday. He gave me reminders all day long that I will one day be a mother. I truly have no doubt. I will share of these amazing reminders he showed me down the road...it is truly amazing what He is doing in me. I am in awe...



This is a verse that Josh has held on to and I have believed as well:

Psalm 128:3 "Your wife will be like a fruitful vine, flourishing within your home. And look at all those children! There they sit around your table as vigorous and healthy as young olive trees."

2 weeks from this Wednesday, I will be starting my 6 weeks of radiation! Until then, I need to get fully expanded and be able to lift my left arm over my head. It is still very tight and not quite there, so please pray that I can get fully expanded by then and that my arm can move over my head. Also, please pray that I will never get lymphedema. Lymphedema is something that happens to women who have had a lymph node dissection (like I did), which means that all of your lymph nodes were removed under one or both of your arms. Your lymph nodes contain fluid, and once those lymph nodes are taken out, many times women will develop lymphedema, in which the fluid has no where to go, so it collects in their arms. They can become very swollen and painful. There is no medical "cure" for lymphedema, other than managing the pain and swelling. I have had no sign of lymphedema, and I believe that I never will, but it of course is a concern. Many people develop it by picking up heavy things, so needless to say, my husband (aka Sergeant Josh) has been picking up everything for me that is over about 2 pounds and scolding me when he sees me trying to pick up and clean:). I am trying to see the good side of this, in that I am not having to do much work, but it has been hard feeling like I can't help as much around the house or pick up things or kids like I used to. I know there is a healthy balance of picking things up and I will educate myself on all of this, but this is just another specific thing we can all pray for.

Hebrews 10:23 "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."

Also, I just want to thank the people from my church that brought me food after my surgery. Our church is amazing. As I have shared on here, I am eating very healthy, so to have fresh, healthy food brought to my house for 2 weeks- simply amazing. I didn't have to think about it and got to see so many sweet faces and eat some great, healthy food... I love you all so much.

Oh, and we are still waiting on the P-53 genetic test results, so please continue praying that these results will be negative. I am so sure that they will be. I will let you know as soon as we get those back.

Some pictures are posted below..please don't look if you have a weak stomach. Josh took a picture of some of my drains. I wasn't so sure about posting some of these, but Josh thought it would be helpful to give you all an idea of the drains and how they work. Hopefully this will help you all get a better picture of what I have been carrying ...

This is when I had 4 drains. This is one less than what I started with.

Modeling my four drains...so attractive

Here you can see where the drains go in. Yes, this is a picture of my stomach that I am putting for the world to see..ugh, but wanted to give you an idea of where the drains were on the sides of my stomach. This was just last week...only 2 drains left- one on the left side and one on the right. The drains go in on the upper sides of my stomach.

Here is the one that is still in on the right side of my ribs. You can see next to it where the other drain used to be. On my right side, I had 3 of these. Crazy, right?!

Here's to expansions, more drains taken out, and less pain! Thank you Jesus!

On the road again...

Hey guys! So, we are on the road again...we were hoping to get my expansions and drains taken out in West Monroe, but we have decided to just continue with getting all of my medical needs done at MD Anderson. They are the ones familiar with my treatment, and that is where we feel comfortable:) So, we will just have a few more trips to Houston. I counted it up the other day. We have traveled to and from Houston over 25 times in 7 months time. Isn't that crazy? I got my oil changed about 3 weeks ago and Josh got my oil changed a few days ago. I felt sure he forgot I already had it changed, but no, it was time for a change!! So crazy...I don't say that to complain, but I've just begun to realize how much traveling we have done. So thankful we are able to travel though. I have heard of others that want to get treated at MD Anderson, but live too far away, or don't have proper transportation, so we are blessed!

 Tomorrow will be a pretty simple day in that I am just getting expanded and hopefully getting a drain or 2 out. I was able to get one drain removed last week, but I still have 4 in. I am so ready to get these drains out, but I know they must come out at the right time. My sleeping has gotten pretty rough, as I can't get comfortable because of the tightness in my chest and the drains...so please pray for better sleep. In the scheme of things, this is a small issue, but you just feel better when you sleep better! And poor Josh has about an inch of the bed to sleep on because I take up most of the bed with all my pillows. So, needless to say, sleep has been pretty tough for the both of us. Outside of the sleep and pain, I am doing better day by day. I am having back pain..probably because the way I have been sleeping, but please, please pray that this will go away. Satan tries to lie to me about different symptoms, but I rebuke him and put him in is place. If you only knew the spiritual warfare that goes on in this little girl's mind! God always wins. Vctory is won. Praise the Lord!!

 I talked to my nurse today on the phone, and she said it could take up to a year to get to feeling like myself again. Typically, patients begin to feel better 4 to 6 months after surgery. Great, right? She explained to me that my body has just basically been through the ringer..to have chemo flowing through it for 6 months and then a radical surgery...so that made me feel better in knowing I feel as I should feel. I just wish the time table was just shorter. Everythng is relative now that I'm cancer-free. And oh yeah, I can officially use that term now. I asked my nurse when I would be deemed cancer-free by tests and such, and she said that my pathology is what deemed me cancer free. She explained that I wouldn't have any body scans unless I was having any persistent symptoms that occurred. At that point, would have scans(which will never happen, in Jesus' name..the persistent symptoms part). She explained that I will not have any full- body scans until closer to the time of trying to have a baby. So, I'm cancer free. Yep, that's me.

 We also have a date for the potential start of radiation- May 30th! Pending that all of my expansions are done by that date, as well as proper arm movement, I will start radiation on the 30th. So, until then, I will get expanded on both sides, and deflated on the left before the start of radiation. I will also be moving there for 6 weeks. I'm really looking forward to being in Houston. I will hopefully get some good alone time with God, as well as working on my dissertation. I'm so thankful to the ULM MFT department working with me on making my classes work... I will be attending a dissertation seminar class via video feed. So thankful and relieved for that. I am DONE with my 1st year of PhD school!!! What a year it has been! I turned in my final paper and presentation today and am so relieved to have all of my school stuff done. I am looking forward to the week next week where I can fully focus on recovery without the thought of papers needing to be done. I am SO happy to be done....for a while:)

 So, we will continue to make trips to Houston weekly until May 30th, which by the way is only 3 weeks away!! Craziness ! God is so faithful. I had a client ask me today if I was nervous aout radiation, and that was truly the first time I really thought about it. I told her that I am slightly nervous, but I'm mostly excited. It brings an end to my cancer/ healing journey. It is the final step in the cancer treatment process. Although I still have a long road of reconstruction, that is cosmetic and not related to treatment itself. So, I am kind of looking forward to it. A time to reflect on what all God has done for me and all He will continue to do. I love Jesus so much.

 One more thing...I walked in the relay for life walk this past Friday and that was a neat experience. I got to meet Tabbby Soignier, who is a girl in our area that just fought cancer and won, and that was wonderful to get to visit with her. She is about my age and we walked the survivor lap together. I think because my news was still so fresh, it hadnt really hit me that I was a "survivor", but it is pretty amazing. I have survived death. All glory to my God. I also got to visit with Donna Tarver, who is also a recent breast cancer survivor that has helped me so much. It was a great event, and Josh and I want to get more involved next year. It was fun for kids too. We look forward to the day we can take our kids to an event like that and get to tell and re-tell God's story of saving me. Josh and I love you all so much. I know there is a way to reply to the blog comments, and I will be figuring that out soon. We can't say thank you enough for the words of encouragement you all give to us. I remember when Josh first started the blog, and I wasn't so sure about sharing my life with anyone that chose to read, and now I am so thankful.

I am healed.. I am whole!

Wow...so much can happen in one week! Last week at this time, I was still in much pain from surgery, and now I am feeling SO much better. It has been one crazy, painful, amazing week.

I am so indebted to those who have spent time on their knees on my behalf. I literally could burst into tears at any moment when I think of someone praying for me. It is just so humbling. I had my closest friends and family come to my surgery, which I know was such a sacrifice...Josh, my mom, Mr. Joey, Jessica, Mr. Terry, Ms. Renea, Kelly, Ainsley, Margot, Thomas, Jonathan, Arvil, Cheryl, Ms. Tammy... I love you all so very much and I am the most blessed woman on the face of the earth. Seriously. I am..don't even try arguing with me!

Surgery was much tougher than I expected, but realizing what all I had done makes more sense to how I have been feeling. I had all my breast tissue removed in both breasts, 2 lymph nodes removed on my right side, 17 lymph nodes removed on my left, 5 drains put in under my breasts and armpits, and 2 tissue expanders put behind my chest muscles. So, I am realizing that it is ok for me to be feeling not-so-great:) I know Josh already explained what I struggled with, but the heat was intense!!! I was so hot and nauseous after surgery.. I hate to feel like a bad patient, but that is what I was. I couldn't get comfortable and nothing would make me feel better. Josh was so patient with me, as he iced down rags and put them all over my body. That was the only way I got relief! But, that is much better now, thank the Lord. I still have a lot of tightness in my chest and limited range of motion in both arms, but that is getting better too...this was just a crazy-involved surgery!

Josh has been the best nurse ever. Emptying my drains, bathing me, cleaning my incisions...He is amazing. I couldn't do all of this...he will definitely be the diaper-changer in this family:) I can't take grossness! He sets his alarm to give me my medicine and sets all my pillows up at night just perfectly. I am SO taken care of. Just had to give him a little shout out:) Of course, I think he's good at everything, but he would have been an excellent nurse!

So, on to the amazing, miraculous, exciting, unbelievable, incredible, there-arent-enough-awesome-words-to-describe- news!! No evidence of disease!!!!! We did not know whether we would find out the results on Monday or Tuesday, because we didn't know if the pathology would be back or not yet. When Dr. Litton and the other doctor walked in that room with the biggest smiles on their faces, we were in awe. When she said the news was perfect, Josh and I immediately burst into tears. She explained that she typically would go through the results and talk about possible clinical trials or things we needed to do, but since nothing came back, there was nothing to talk about. She explained that because I'm "triple negative", if anything had come back, she would have had more of a concern about reoccurrence. Because it was clear, she of course is still concerned, but not nearly as concerned as she would have been. Josh and I bawled and she continued talking and as our new friend, Brandi, said, it was like Charlie Brown"wa wa wa"... I don't remember much, but it boiled down to her saying, "You are now one of my follow ups!" Dr. Litton is so great and she oozes confidence. Her eyes welled up and just gave me the biggest hug. She literally was giddy. The entire moment (which was only about 10 minutes) was literally one of the best of my life. Obviously, because of the good news, but the atmosphere in that room involved 4 truly ecstatic people. It was fun to see 2 doctors so excited. The other doctor that she brought in was the doctor that initially wrote my scripts, so it was special for him as well. Oh, and Dr. Litton asked if she could call Dr. Morrow to tell her the news, and of course said yes!! I wish I could give her the biggest hug. I know she is thrilled for me. I keep pinching myself---this really did just happen!!! I expected my healing, but to have it happen---indescribable.

Oh, and Dr. Litton said that I wouldn't see her again for 3 months! Yes, 3 months! Craziness, right?! I am excited about this, but it is kind of like someone taking your security blanket away. I haven't gone longer than 3 weeks without seeing an oncologist, and now you're telling me I won't see you for 3 months?! Great, but kind of scary/crazy...I have no reason to fear, but it is kind of like ending chemo...bittersweet, when almost 7 months of your life have been seeing a doctor almost weekly. By one pathology report, everything changes..wow,wow, wow! I will cast down all imaginations, fears, and thoughts that do not line up with the word of God.

"For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds, casting down all imaginations, every high things that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corin. 10:4-5

Josh felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of him yesterday. I don't think it has really hit me yet. This morning I had a joy that I don't know if I have ever felt in my life, so in that way I feel different, but it is just surreal. God has literally surrounded me as a shield. I am so grateful..and humbled..and honored.


So, today, we met with Dr. Babiera and Dr. Villa. We all have really gotten to know each other better, and I feel so close with all of my doctors. It is amazing the bond that can form so quickly. I am typically one that takes a while to feel close to someone..my love language is time, and it is a quite odd feeling to feel so close to people so quickly. I guess when your life is in the balance and these people are playing a part in your healing, time goes out the window:) Anyways, Dr. Babiera was so thrilled at my news. She said I was healing wonderfully. We asked her if there was anything else she could tell us, since Dr. Litton told us so little (because everything was clear) and she said, "No, there's no way it could be better. This is the best we could hope for." She gave me the biggest hug and you could just feel the love in the room! I know I probably sound so goofy and sappy, but Josh will back me up!!!:) A mixture of God's presence and just love! It was wonderful. She said that she would see me again in 6 weeks. Once again, craziness to not think about seeing her for 6 weeks! I am so blessed with the best doctor team.
 She told us last time how sad she was to remove my breasts and how much she enjoys talking with us. She hugged me so tight this visit and asked me to bring her a picture of us together that she wanted. So grateful for that. Can't believe I won't see her for 6 weeks... It is literally like once you get a good report like mine, there is no need to see them. They treat sick people- not heathy people, like me:) THANK YOU JESUS!

 Then we headed to see Dr. Villa to see if any drains could be taken out and possibly get expanded. None of my drains could be taken out, although several of them are very close to coming out. I am glad that Dr. Villa is very conservative though, because I would hate to have them taken out too early and then have swollen, hurting arms, so I am willing to let them drain as long as they need to. I am healed!!! I'll have drains for the rest of my life if I have to!!!! :) I did get to get expanded though. The process is crazy and amazing at the same time. They inject the saline in the same way they accessed my port, although you can't see the port in the tissue expander. They find the port by a magnetic device, because the port is magnetic. It is pretty cool. Then they access it and inject the saline, and I grow by the second! It was crazy! He injected 75 cc's and it was a weird feeling. The tissue expander is placed behind my chest muscle, so not only is my skin being stretched, but my muscle is moving too! I should get expanded weekly or bi- weekly, just according to how my skin looks and how well I can tolerate the pain from expanding. Oh, and by the way, we love Dr. Villa. He is so great and so is his P.A., Alicia. He has gone over the top in reiterating that I will look very close to my old self when all this is said and done. Before my surgery, he came and marked me and assured me that he would take the absolute best care of me. I really have the best team of doctors. So many people prayed for this, and it is amazing to be living it and seeing the whole "team" and how they fit together.

 So..what's next? Drains out, expansions, and radiation! We found out that I can be expanded and get my drains out here in West Monroe and my doctor felt completely fine with me doing that. There are some things that MDA is stickler on doing there, but this is not one of those things, so, tomorrow, I will work on making those appointments. I have an appointment set up for next Thursday with my radiation doctor, but that may be moved. We are still thinking that radiation will start around the last week of May, but will keep you updated.

 I praise God for my healing and will continue to pray for life-long health. I am believing Nahum 1:9 in that my sickness has left and will not come back again. Affliction will not rise up a second time!

"Whatever they plot against the Lord, He will bring to an end; trouble will not come a second time."

Please pray and believe this with me. I won't pay much attention to reoccurrence rates, but I know they are high. It can be easy to think that every little thing in my body is the cancer coming back, so please pray that it never touches my body ever again, but also that God will give me supernatural peace and guard my mind. I want to be desperate for God and for my healing and others-- not just at times of famine, but in feast as well. I want God to know I am just as desperate for Him when things are going well, as when they are not. Please don't let your prayers stop now that I am healed. I know the Father has just basked in His conversations with all of us. Let us praise Him and talk to him even more. Please be desperate for your own sake, for my sake, and most of all to just simply give God glory, honor, and praise.  Also, now that chemo is continually leaving my body, please continue to pray for my fertility... That my body would return to normal and show signs of fertility:) thank you in advance for these prayers.


I have posted several pictures below from surgery and happy pictures with my doctors. I figured you might like seeing pictures of my doctors and just my experience. Sometimes I feel like I post too much on here, but I want the people who have prayed me through to be as involved as possible. I love you all so very much...

Before surgery...not exactly realizing what I was getting in to!!

This was one of the terrible heat episodes! Josh put ice rags everywhere:)

 After hearing my pathology results- with Dr. Litton and the other doctor!!

With Dr. Babiera..so happy after my appointment today:)